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Hammock
Whose cake was it? You sure were gone a long time....it's been really different around here without your witticisms and wisdom.
posted by
Krisles
on August 4, 2005 at 10:16 AM
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I once had 4 pieces of a really good Chocolate Cake,
but I didn't Eat the Whole thing.
posted by
Hammock_Noweilz
on August 4, 2005 at 4:38 AM
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Offbeat
Me, either, Sweet Tea....I know that if Husband knew it would break his heart..but, also, he would probably rather be taken care of like he has been...and I couldn't have stayed if I hadn't had the outlet. Thanks for your sweet words and heart. I gather you're feeling better. I'll come over to your blog or wherever you gals are hangin' and check on ya.
posted by
Krisles
on August 3, 2005 at 8:41 PM
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Kris
I have heard every story in the book about this subject. To me, it is a personal choice, be it right or wrong. Cheating is a concious decision, it happens. I have know marriages that are actually stronger because of a cheating spouse. I don't claim to understand that, but to each his own. I have been on both sides of the fence with this...I don't regret my decisions..
posted by
Offy
on August 3, 2005 at 8:27 PM
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I hear you. I've had to re-think a couple of "I would never do that" or "I'm too smart for that" statements.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on August 3, 2005 at 8:25 PM
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HolyGrail
You hit the nail on the head with that one! And, just when we think we have ourselves all figured out, values set...are definite about what we will and won't do - you'll have to trust me on this because I have quite a few years on you - something comes along and upsets the applecart. Life is an everchanging rollercoaster of challenges and we balance on a unicycle, riding along with our limited skills...and a lot of faith...most of us trying to do the best and right thing. Thanks for reading.
posted by
Krisles
on August 3, 2005 at 8:20 PM
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Krisles
"It is so easy to say to just get a divorce if you are unhappy…but some actually have feelings of commitment, duty and concerns for the children…and struggle to meet those commitments while fighting their own desires for happiness. None of this makes it right…it’s just the way it is…and most of us don’t always do the things we know are the right things to do, especially when we are unhappy…..we still try to find ways to eat our cake and keep it, too." Boy, that resonated very strongly with me. The human being is a very stupid, but at the same time, very complex animal.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on August 3, 2005 at 8:11 PM
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Tim
This Ashley Madison is a site to behold...it is for when "monogomy becomes monotonous" and caters specifically to marrieds...it had, of late, changed it's pitch to really try to get single guys in there because of all the married women. The original idea was marrieds who wanted to meet other marrieds specifically because they did not want to mess of their marriages...just wanted something on the side. I believe it also a place where those who want to arrange threesomes, find kinky stuff, etc. do so. I have my membership on hold so I don't go in there anymore, or receive notices when someone is interested in me..but I get notices when new guys in my area sign up....I get at least two per day in the 100 mi radius.
posted by
Krisles
on August 3, 2005 at 8:07 PM
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hopelessLoser
Thank you so much, my sweet hopeless not a loser at all. I have to come check out what you have been up to with your ladies...dare I?
posted by
Krisles
on August 3, 2005 at 8:03 PM
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aamie
Good advice and you sound like someone who has been there. I'm not dallying at the current time, did for 17yrs with one and we had a perfect understanding on that score. I have a husband I haven't decided I want to divorce, don't know that I ever will even though that would probably be the best thing to do for me. Frankly, other than the fact that I could never stand to be the cause of breaking up someone else's marriage, I would almost welcome the incentive to move me off of dead center...I know that is sick, but so is this place I've been stuck for so many, many years.
posted by
Krisles
on August 3, 2005 at 8:02 PM
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Krisles
It must be a sign of the times when you can get online and find a cheating spouse to cheat with. Maybe they think that if both are cheating it gives some type of comfort. Yes, if I were to have cheated, it would have been for something other than sex.
I have no respect for a man that would knowingly pursue a woman that he knew to be married.
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on August 3, 2005 at 3:02 PM
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Nice job!
posted by
SomeoneElse
on August 3, 2005 at 2:39 PM
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Sooner or later ...
Dallying with married men is a dangerous game; sooner or later you will meet one you want to keep. Enjoy what comes, prepare to be hurt.
posted by
aamie
on August 3, 2005 at 4:56 AM
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Krisles
I wasn't offended by any means. I DO believe sometimes. . , things just happen. ., whether you want them to or not. But, I ALSO believe there are many men out there who truly love their spouses and wouldn't DARE do anything to hurt them.
posted by
Joe_Love
on August 2, 2005 at 8:53 PM
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Joe_Love
I just put in an addendum to my post...see if it reads better to you now.
posted by
Krisles
on August 2, 2005 at 8:41 PM
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Joe_Love
Then I have made a grave error in my writing....please forgive me, because I do not think that at all; fwmystic says that and I totally disagree with that. My dad was a faithful man and I know lots of men I believe are faithful. I belonged to a site that was for married people who want to cheat so they were the men I was talking to here. No, no....I do not believe that at all. Unfortunately, I have plenty of women friends who do believe that. I think a lot of men man fantasize, but think it through and weigh the consequences and would never jeopardize what they have. And I think plenty don't even have to think it through.
posted by
Krisles
on August 2, 2005 at 8:35 PM
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Krisles
You make it sound like every man in the daggone world cheats on his spouse. Personally, I think the percentage would be much lower than you think.
That being said, thought provoking blog.
posted by
Joe_Love
on August 2, 2005 at 7:06 PM
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Hey Girl!
Big Surprise! Episode 17 is ready.
posted by
Passionflower
on August 2, 2005 at 5:12 PM
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Usual
You know you don't need to bite your tongue with me...I just sent you my email..use it.
posted by
Krisles
on August 2, 2005 at 3:17 PM
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Trying to bite my tongue...
but I just can't. I'd like to ask your advice on some things pertaining to this offline. I'll email you.
posted by
UsualSuspect
on August 2, 2005 at 1:05 PM
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avant-garde
Thank you for reading and I agree with you....many men consider consequences, and I'm sure many may never even feel the desire to stray. It would seem some need to think all make the same choices they do but that simply is not true. I know it for a fact. I think that men's capacity to love is limitless - just maybe confused sometimes, especially in their younger years with hormonal issues.
posted by
Krisles
on August 1, 2005 at 7:16 PM
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fwmystic
Thank you for reading....I left my comment for you and forgot to put your name. I said that I can't agree that all men do actually cheat. I believe there are different personalities and characters in men, just as there are in women. I can't look into their minds, but choices are made that aren't all the same.
posted by
Krisles
on August 1, 2005 at 7:11 PM
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Thank you for reading. I can't say that I agree that all do...I think there are many different kinds of men, just as there are many different kinds of women - choices are made, etc.
posted by
Krisles
on August 1, 2005 at 7:08 PM
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ARGUS
Thank you....I especially appreciate that coming from a man, of course. It really has been such a learning experience...still odd to say, a positive one given the circumstances.
posted by
Krisles
on August 1, 2005 at 7:05 PM
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RachelAnna
Thank you, and I'm so glad you got something out of it. I sure have learned a lot...and will keep my eyes and mind more open from now on. There is no reason for them to look elsewhere, if they can communicate their needs at home and really be heard -just like we want.
posted by
Krisles
on August 1, 2005 at 6:58 PM
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hold on a minute.
some of us do think about things, and consequences. anyway, i enjoyed reading your post, krisles. i do believe that under these tough exteriors, the men who cheat really need to feel loved. after all, they act so unloving most of the time. it's ironic that the thing they want is right under their noses.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 1, 2005 at 1:48 PM
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All men cheat ... it's in our nature
posted by
fwmystic
on August 1, 2005 at 9:40 AM
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Very perceptive, Krisles---- and good analysis.
posted by
ARGUS
on August 1, 2005 at 9:24 AM
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Wow, some awesome insights...
You know, after being married for five years I hadn't thought about the fact that some men do probably cheat because they need romantic and emotional fulfillment. That's pretty freaking ignorant of me, but hey, you learn something new every day.
Great post.
posted by
RachelAnna
on August 1, 2005 at 6:44 AM
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Straightforward
Thanks for reading. It is the way I see it, about myself and what I see with those I've experienced. I try to be honest with myself...of course, we all deceive ourselves to a degree but I try not to be a hypocrite. I would gather from your name, that you do the same.
posted by
Krisles
on July 31, 2005 at 10:51 PM
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Seems like a pretty honest and upfront post
posted by
Straightforward
on July 31, 2005 at 8:59 PM
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i admire your loyalty
and respect for others.x
posted by
mcbreeze
on July 31, 2005 at 3:11 PM
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mcbreeze
Thank you for the kind words. I wasn't sure whether to post this because I know many on this site have been hurt by cheating spouses and my heart goes out to them. That's one of the reasons I haven't posted a picture and have shielded much of my real identity, not wanting to hurt my husband. I love him dearly in so many ways. Relationships are so complicated, so many kinds of love. I so appreciate your reading.
posted by
Krisles
on July 31, 2005 at 3:06 PM
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very well said krisles
i found this post inspiring and interesting and was able to relate also due to my mum having an affair a long time ago, i love the way you use your detail and clarify what sometimes can be such a confusing picture. Great Work .xx
posted by
mcbreeze
on July 31, 2005 at 2:58 PM
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Medusa
Thank you for reading with an open mind. I do try not to deceive myself or be a hypocrite. I certainly don't deserve any respect for the affairs, even if just online. I do believe I am a caretaker and friend, just trying to find a way to stay in that role and have some sort of happiness, too - my husband depends on me financially and emotionally and my heart breaks at the thought of abandoning him because that is how I view it in my mind. I hope to resolve it in the next year
posted by
Krisles
on July 31, 2005 at 2:44 PM
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Passion
Couseling you, dearest....as well as many conversations I have recently had with one of these men about it all. Yell at you? I never yell at you....do I?
posted by
Krisles
on July 31, 2005 at 2:38 PM
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scriber
I know you do....and I bet you have had every variety, shape and flavor known to mankind and womankind! I read you for lessons. Thanks for reading me....and reading me.
posted by
Krisles
on July 31, 2005 at 2:35 PM
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Mama.Dragonfly
Thank you! I've read your posts about your marriage and experiences online...know you understand. Nothing is black and white...don't well know it. Thanks so for reading.
posted by
Krisles
on July 31, 2005 at 2:34 PM
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Hi Krisles....Yes, mighty thoughtful and mighty honest....
How could I not respect a gal like you? Good post!
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on July 31, 2005 at 2:17 PM
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Kris....Well, aren't we being thoughtful today?
What brought on all these revelations about love, life and men? ([please don't yell at me if this is something I'm already supposed to know)
posted by
Passionflower
on July 31, 2005 at 1:46 PM
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love the cake.
posted by
scriber
on July 31, 2005 at 1:44 PM
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Hey Kris! So well said!! Bravo!! It is so very easy to sit back in judgement until you been there, and hurtin', all alone.
~Mama.Dragonfly487
posted by
Mama.Dragonfly
on July 31, 2005 at 1:42 PM
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