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Children

Yes you are truely a creature after my own heart. he he he

posted by Merrick on June 30, 2005 at 9:45 AM | link to this | reply

ooopss!!!

quite right!  I blew the phrase completely.  What I meant to say is that you failed to disappoint  Which is a rather backhanded complement!  I was actually very impressed with your response.  My bad!

posted by Ebb.and.Flow on June 25, 2005 at 8:56 PM | link to this | reply

I would rather have failed...

posted by muser on June 25, 2005 at 6:40 AM | link to this | reply

Metta and EBB

Metta...my apologies to you for giving an explanation - I did not read far enough to realize that Ebb's post answered EVERYONE who responded.

EBB...see comments I wrote to Metta. 

 

posted by behindamask on June 25, 2005 at 4:39 AM | link to this | reply

Metta

Mute pain screams for blood

As my victim, bound and gagged

Hears his children die.

 

Where my response came from:

 

In most OBVIOUS sense...to delve only on the surface of this deep haiku, the only literal sound is what he hears:  his children die.  It's the only thing he's listening to.  HOWEVER, to delve below the surface, and look beyond the obvious - now that's a whole 'nother story.  Ebb is creative...an intriguing writer. 

posted by behindamask on June 25, 2005 at 4:35 AM | link to this | reply

An intriguing array of responses to this Haiku:

muser

as usual, an evocative, deliberative, highly intelligent response.  I was hoping (certain, actually) that my fellow poets would express an insight into the metaphorical and spiritual implications of my question.  You have not failed to disappoint.  Thank you.

behindamask

I disagree that the pain is muted—though the screams ARE. The pain he feels gives rise to the inner torment, which in turn perpetuates the sounds inside his head.  I quite agree that these are undoubtedly the most audible, from his perspective.

However, what about the sounds of the dying children?

Metta

This is a profound auditory image—I see your sensitivity, and affirm your response.

To all:

I appreciate the willingness to engage in a response to what is admittedly a disturbing theme.  It is this poet’s belief that we must not shirk our obligation to meet reality in all its facets face to face and, where possible, tease out the essence of a reader’s response.  This is at least part of my goal as a poet.  Thank you for your thoughtful and intelligent comments. 

posted by Ebb.and.Flow on June 24, 2005 at 11:32 PM | link to this | reply

His wildly beating heart...No. His blood rushing in his veins...No. His

anger pounding in his temples...No. His hatred bellowing in his being...No. The pleading prayers of his spirit as they rise to Heaven...Yes, I think so. He is helpless, and none of the above can change the situation except his pleading to God...so I think that is what he hears inside his head...

Now, if the sound is literally, within your poem...I would say the loudest sound his his blood rushing through his veins, and pounding in his ears.

posted by muser on June 24, 2005 at 11:53 AM | link to this | reply

Ebb

The loudest sound is what your victim "hears."  For the pain is muted, thus are the screams.  Oh the torture he must feel from the sounds inside his head?

XO

posted by behindamask on June 24, 2005 at 6:41 AM | link to this | reply

yes, disturbing...

the loudest sound is the breaking heart...

posted by Metta on June 24, 2005 at 6:03 AM | link to this | reply

so is reality

posted by Ebb.and.Flow on June 23, 2005 at 10:16 PM | link to this | reply

thats just plain disturbing

posted by PoeticHoneyDew on June 23, 2005 at 10:05 PM | link to this | reply