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You are a wonderful poet...
have you ever thought about rapping?
MHW, you should write more about the LA ghetto...i am very much interested in what you have to say...
posted by
Marshallengraved
on May 18, 2005 at 3:15 AM
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OffBeatPub, well all righty then. I gonna have sweet dreams tonight.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 7:02 PM
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MHW
YEP...Really..
posted by
Offy
on May 17, 2005 at 7:00 PM
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OffBeatPub, I was hoping you would say that. REALLY!
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 6:59 PM
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MHW
If I were in NYC..you and I would be going out tonight...
posted by
Offy
on May 17, 2005 at 6:54 PM
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OffBeatPub, I wish you were here in NYC so you could tell the woman who
stood me up tonight what a great guy I am
: )
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 6:44 PM
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MHW
You are one very special person and definitely an asset to the human race. I just love reading you..
posted by
Offy
on May 17, 2005 at 6:26 PM
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REMARKABLE POST
... excellent comments... I'm feelin all warm and fuzzy!
posted by
homegirl
on May 17, 2005 at 4:19 PM
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TerpGirl, I'm on the verge of crying, seriously. Thank you for the thought-
ful comment. And you're right. It wasn't about the money those people gave us at all. It was all about the love, warmth and kindness they gave us. And you know something, my mother and I never found out how those people learned of our plight. Do you suppose ...
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 12:06 PM
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Queen
Yeah, I got the fuzzies immediately. Then I remembered I hadn't brushed my teeth today. Sorry...that was too easy.
Kim
posted by
terpgirl30
on May 17, 2005 at 11:58 AM
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Two things
1) You never know the simplest of things you do may profoundly affect another human being. I've always operated on this premise. I went into sportswriting because when I was in high school, my favorite player answered a letter I wrote him. He was in the NCAA finals at the time, and he took the time out for a teenage girl's newspaper article. It changed the course of my life. It was an off the cuff thing for him.
2)There are human angels everywhere, and you are probably that angel for someone else at some point. At other points, you need that angel. You have to learn to accept and give. I've had money, no money, money again...etc. I've been happy in every situation because dear, dear people stepped up and kept our (my brother and I) world on an even keel when all hell was breaking loose around us.
My mom left my dad in the middle of the night when I as 16, my brother 9. We literally pulled a moving van up, moved and went into hiding for about 2 weeks. My mom had set up an apartment, a job (she was only qualified to be a barmaid), and all the normal stuff. She had a whopping $500 she had stashed away to get us started. We had a german shepherd, 2 cats and assorted small animals living with us in a 3rd floor apartment. Within one week, my mom's job went out of business, they stole money she had invested in it, and she ended up in the ER with a major kidney ailment. Best laid plans, right?
So how did our rent, gas & electric, etc. get paid? I have no idea. My mom still feels guilty about stuff. She said that Christmas we got one present. I got a baseball mitt that was stolen a month later in school. Here's the thing for parents who ever wonder about this stuff: the memory I have is of being happy on Christmas. I didn't cry as I had almost every Christmas before. This was a great period of my life. I cherish those memories, and I don't remember doing without. If I did without, I don't remember it at all.
I have a friend who ended up a single mom and both she and her child ended up in the hospital. I let her live in a house I was buying to move into later. She felt guilty that she couldn't pay for this or that. Well, someone did it for me way back when. She helped me out in the future.
You do what you can, when you can. Isn't the ideal?
From a Biblical standpoint, you're not supposed to be vocal about it all, but MHW, your point made me think on something. Those people who helped you out were also a physical presence for you, weren't they? It wasn't just a monetary thing because you didn't know about that until much later. You remember these people talking with your mother in the kitchen and comforting her. They were faces at your dad's funeral. (There's nothing worse than seeing a handful of faces at a funeral. When you see strangers at your loved one's funeral it makes you puff up a bit, however strange that seems. You realize other people thought enough of him to be there for your family.)
Your experience with having the people show up later makes me think that human contact is a big part of it as well.
I had a cousin whose whole family was rife with drug addicts. She was dying of cancer at age 33 or so. She had an infant. I wanted to help her financially, but knew I coudn't give money to anyone around her as it would disappear. I actually had to contact the phone company and the like and just pay bills directly. She found out somehow, and we had some of the best conversations we'd ever had. Up until then, I didn't think we had much in common. That taught me a lesson, too.
This was a really thought-provoking post so many people can relate to either as the giver or recipient. Thanks for making me go back a bit.
Kim
posted by
terpgirl30
on May 17, 2005 at 11:56 AM
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Reni, you're one of the white people I love the most : )
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 11:56 AM
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It's a wonderful story. It reminds me of the church people who brought
food and gifts over to my mother and I after my father had been in jail for over a year. We were penniless and I was having to wear Goodwill clothes. The kids at school would make fun of me because I would be wearing the clothes their mothers had donated at the local center.
Then, one Christmas morning--as I awaited the beginning of another giftless and joyless holiday--there was a knock on the door. The pastor and two other members of the congregation brought us a HUGE Christmas dinner, two brand new winter coats for me, as well as new clothes and toys. To this day, that Christmas holds the fondest memories.
Back to your post...I think kindness (and even hate) transcends all colors. We just have to look at each other as people, and make our decisions based on personality rather than color--which you obviously know already.
Wonderful post.
posted by
Renigade
on May 17, 2005 at 11:52 AM
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QueenofaLot, thank you. Does this mean you're not angry with me anymore?
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 11:43 AM
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THANK YOU
FOR THIS LOVELY STORY........sure to put a warm fuzzy in everyone's day.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on May 17, 2005 at 11:37 AM
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MarshallEngraved, thank you & I've already put it in a beautiful vase.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 11:33 AM
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mhw...
posted by
Marshallengraved
on May 17, 2005 at 11:28 AM
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FactorFiction, following my father's death, my mother went on to become a
successful businesswoman, and she always gave all of the credit for her success to those wonderful people who came to our rescue.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 11:22 AM
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Donaldoji, I didn't realize it would happen, but my eyes got moist while I
was writing this post.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 11:18 AM
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MHW
long time ago or not, the story of your father's death is so sad... Thank goodness those people were there to ease the financial burden at least. I love stories that show heart.
And a note to Talion... skin color is not the most important thing in childrearing... I can think of many people who are white who I would not want to raise my children! In fact, I can think of many I would not want speaking to my children...
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 17, 2005 at 11:12 AM
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A sad and uplifting account of your father's passing.
Thanks for sharing with us.
posted by
donaldoji
on May 17, 2005 at 10:59 AM
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SYMPHONY, thank you. & the posts you write shows that you are a very kind
and loving person.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 10:58 AM
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I love everybody
nice post.....sorry for your loss...although it's a long time ago now...it makes no difference to the way you feel...take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on May 17, 2005 at 10:54 AM
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MarshallEngraved, and I LUV U
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 10:30 AM
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Talion, you are a very intelligent and wise man. & thank you for reading
the post.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 10:29 AM
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You know what?
I love Black ppl!!!
posted by
Marshallengraved
on May 17, 2005 at 10:13 AM
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mightyholywarrior
I've known my oldest and dearest friend for over thirty years. We were friends before my younger brother was born. In fact, I think of her as the older sister I never had and her twelve year old daughter calls me "uncle." Not long after her daughter was born, she told me if anything were to happen to her and her husband, she wanted me to raise her. Not her own flesh and blood sisters, but me. Once the initial "freaked out" moment passed, I realized there's no greater honor, no greater testament of honor and respect than that. This friend of mine, of course, is white.
There are a lot of things about society in general I don't agree with, a lot of things I believe need changing, but I always make an effort to distinguish between the group and the individual. Though I make an effort to get along with everyone, I realize it won't always work out. Some will be my friends, some will be my enemies, but I never make the determination on my own. I allow them, based on their actions, to decide how they will be catagorized. In essence, I give everyone I meet the same opportunity I expect from them.
posted by
Talion
on May 17, 2005 at 10:12 AM
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PassionFlower, thank you. & I didn't even tell the whole story here. The
members of that church stayed in touch with our family for many years following my father's death. And every Thanksgiving and Christmas, over a period of about 10 years, they delivered a whole lot of food and toys to our home.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 9:24 AM
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SuccessWarrior, no it doesn't. & there are a lot of terrific people in this
world.
posted by
Feenix
on May 17, 2005 at 9:19 AM
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Goes to show...you can't judge people using generalities, such as race
or skin color. You shouldn't judge at all. But each person deserves to be treated like an individual.
I'm sorry about your father's death but happy there were people there to make it easier on your mom.
posted by
Passionflower
on May 17, 2005 at 9:18 AM
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Kindness doesn't discriminate, eh?
posted by
SuccessWarrior
on May 17, 2005 at 9:16 AM
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