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I think
that you and he both have betrayed this other woman (who does not know about you and him). Even by having a secret together about your intimacy -let alone by having sex- you two are betraying her. I think there are degrees, and his actions are worse than yours Maybe you're writing about it because you don't want to be complicit in the betrayal any longer. He hasn't come to this- it's a lot more to own up to, after all.
posted by
Yoleo
on July 6, 2003 at 7:01 PM
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Apparently I'm a dim-witted bulb.
He has certainly betrayed her. If your man feels that you betrayed his secrets, then he needs to take a chill pill. There is a saying...the truth will come out. When you visit the land of indiscretion, you have to be prepared for dark secrets to come to light someday. If you are having issues dealing with these secrets, then you should take care of yourself. Betraying him? Bah. Don't worry about it. I do not believe there are degrees of separation. Not with me. You either betrayed me, or you didn't.
Because of your feelings for him, you should be concerned about this "betrayal", but out of concern for you, he should be understanding of your dilemma as well. People call me insenstive, I know, but really. You have to take care of #1, or else you won't be able to take care of anyone else around you.
posted by
theelbster
on July 5, 2003 at 9:00 PM
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Yes
You hit on the heart of my dilemma, do I really care?
posted by
Cynthia
on July 5, 2003 at 3:55 PM
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The way I see it...
I think you and Mr #1 had an implicit agreement of discretion in light of the number of years your liaison has continued with him, apparently with your knowledge, lying to the other woman. You had to have known he didn’t want her finding out about you or the others.
It sounds as if your desire to sate your condition of expressiveness superseded your loyalty to Mr #1.
There are no degrees of betrayal. He’s been betraying her. You betrayed him.
I can understand why he would be annoyed. But, do you care if he’s annoyed? MissyJ
posted by
missyjblog
on July 5, 2003 at 3:12 PM
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