Go to Court Of The One-Eyed Judge
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Entrepreneur_Maker:
Good argument. Valid points, all. And perhaps you are correct about the mother, considering that there is ample evidence that women who have relationships with abusive men were themselves victims of abuse as children or witnessed constant abuse within their household. Allow me to change my stand on Trena Gage, unless something darker is presented about the woman.
And you are absolutely correct about what they should do to the sex offenders and predators that are allowed to freely walk this country (and others), not to mention those who allow them this ability. Sexual abuse is a crime that lasts the lifetime of the victim, so how come the perpetrator of the hated experience only does a few months or years (if convicted)? Why aren't there stiffer penalties, not to mention extensive jail and/or prison sentences? At least when a murderer gets out of prison, his victim doesn't worry about a repeat offense on them (and I'm not condoning murder over sexual abuse; both are heinous). Yes, it is a given; we definitely need to revamp some of our existing laws regarding sexual abuse and offenses.
posted by
saul_relative
on March 30, 2005 at 2:19 PM
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No. Mom should not be charged.
Here's why. Yes she is in some form guilty, but to blame her is to take the blame from the OFFENDER. The very reason the cycle continues.
She (mom) was clearly abused as a child, hence 'seeking' out men to do the same. This is a well documented fact.
what she needs now is help. She has lost a child, she is a victium herself.
The bastards who let the sex offender out should be charged. The bastards who did it should be SHOT between the eyes.
If we continue to 'blame' the victiums of these crimes and coddle the offenders, what's the point? yes its true that abuse USUALLY is done to all kids. Yes its true that quite often it continues. That's because no one helps the kids.
You cannot blame the mother fully. You can fully blame our liberal legal system that let's these types LEAVE jail in the first place.
I hope they fry the bastard.
posted by
Entrepreneur_Maker
on March 30, 2005 at 4:12 AM
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You are so very right, DarrkeThoughts,
especially about blocking things, going into blind denial. Happens all the time. Some people are victims of circumstance, some of situation. And it is sad when they beleive their options are so limited (and, at times, those options probably are extremely limited).
I am sorry you had to endure such a past. I am equally sorry that it has left you with so many doubts. I really do not know what to say, except that I hope the rest of your life hasn't been so traumatic.
And I do feel bad for Trena Gage. Whatever her reasons for allowing this man near her home, it has cost her more than I hope to ever know. But a state of denial is no excuse. She could have chosen another mechanic, checked the sex offenders registry, something, anything.
But, then, we have the advantage of 20/20 hindsight.
posted by
saul_relative
on March 29, 2005 at 1:30 PM
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No, Straightforward,
I have nothing against working women, and I admire Trena Gage for working and supporting her family, not to mention taking classes to further herself. I would have said the same thing if it had been a man that failed the child. In fact, her gender and socio-economic status never entered into my thinking at all. I simply beleive she could have been more diligent.
posted by
saul_relative
on March 29, 2005 at 1:19 PM
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Yes, katray,
terribly frightening times. Just think how much worse times would be if we had the current population, but less access to media and communications. No Amber alerts. The atrocities would be taking place constantly with only a few in the immediate area of the crimes knowing about it.
Reading poetry (and fiction) keeps me from going completely insane, katray. Keeps my mind working.
posted by
saul_relative
on March 29, 2005 at 1:16 PM
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Yes...no...I don't know. My mother watched my dad beat me with his belt, but years later looked me in the eye and said that it never happened, or if it did, she never knew about it. It was a routine punishment in our house. I remember her being in the room on more than one occassion, not just me, but when my sister was beat on too. How could she block that out? But apparently she did...
Could she have stopped it? Would he have beat her too if she tried? What other options did she have. No job, no training. She "couldn't" leave with us kids and survive on her own...maybe blocking it out was her "only" option?
I really don't know. But a lot of women are in denial about what happens in their own homes. I think it's even worse with sexual abuse. She's probably not a witness. She may believe the boyfriend/husband's story instead of her kid. Maybe she's jealous, or feels like she has no other choice. Or that her "choices" are worse than what is happening.
I certainly would not want to be the judge in THAT courtroom.
posted by
DarrkeThoughts
on March 29, 2005 at 12:03 PM
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Not the Court of a one eyed judge, but the court of a judge who looks from
gender-tinted glasses that make a woman feel guilty at once, specially if she's a working woman
posted by
Straightforward
on March 29, 2005 at 8:34 AM
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Hi Saul
Wow, I hadn't heard this. So Jetseta was abused by her mother's boyfriend and then Mom allows his brother to be around?? How sick, definitely the mother should be held responsible too. This is getting so out of control and tragic. A 12 year old girl was abducted in Florida today. If I had a little girl in the household I wouldn't let her out of my sight. Frightening times.
Thanks for sharing and thanks for reading my poems.
posted by
Katray2
on March 29, 2005 at 12:57 AM
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