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jimmy68 Finding one true love is such an enriching thing,  I think you know that!

posted by the-loanlady on March 31, 2005 at 2:11 PM | link to this | reply

Now that is devotion above and beyond the call of duty...

posted by jimmy68 on March 30, 2005 at 8:25 PM | link to this | reply

So sweet!

posted by Renigade on March 29, 2005 at 9:36 AM | link to this | reply

Renigade talked with sissy this morning. She was driving to work ( she goes early as is a teacher). He had a nice time with us at Easter. My son, and all the boy cousins are quite enamoured with him, being a Fireman and all. All the boys were waiting on him and bringing him their Easter candy to share. He found jelly beans in his pockets Monday morning and had to laugh, one of the boys was making sure he had some candy for the road.

posted by the-loanlady on March 29, 2005 at 9:28 AM | link to this | reply

Whamenator some day you will find it, usually happens when you are not looking.

posted by the-loanlady on March 29, 2005 at 9:24 AM | link to this | reply

fwmystic Who can know? Sometimes we ourselves can't understand how we fell in love. Sometimes that's the beauty of life.

posted by the-loanlady on March 29, 2005 at 9:23 AM | link to this | reply

ThomasFranklin I agree, to have love even for a window in time is something wonderful to savor

posted by the-loanlady on March 29, 2005 at 9:22 AM | link to this | reply


I cannot manage to find real love, but even when people do, it seems to have a bittersweet edge.

Great message, and great story!

posted by WHAMENATOR on March 29, 2005 at 8:44 AM | link to this | reply

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by WHAMENATOR on March 29, 2005 at 8:42 AM | link to this | reply

Wow. Good for him. Good for her.

posted by Renigade on March 29, 2005 at 7:24 AM | link to this | reply

Loan-Lady – Great story.
Love makes no sense. Who knows why you sister met this guy, but maybe she's making his final days worthwhile.

posted by fwmystic on March 29, 2005 at 7:21 AM | link to this | reply

This is a good post. I would love somebody even if it was for a short time. Its better to have loved then never to have loved. Plus, maybe this will make little sis stronger.

posted by ThomasFranklin on March 28, 2005 at 10:10 PM | link to this | reply

Ann and Ben thanks for the birthday wish!

posted by the-loanlady on March 28, 2005 at 3:36 PM | link to this | reply

Ca88andra   we had a party for his welcome home!

posted by the-loanlady on March 28, 2005 at 3:35 PM | link to this | reply

Gypsyredhead how are you feeling sister?

posted by the-loanlady on March 28, 2005 at 3:34 PM | link to this | reply

Volaar thank you for thoughful input. We really did have a fun day Sunday. You are so right about grabbing the laughter and joy in every moment of life.

posted by the-loanlady on March 28, 2005 at 3:34 PM | link to this | reply

This is a sad story.

A special day is coming on the 29th March.

Happy birthday to you. Many happy returns of the day.

posted by A-and-B on March 28, 2005 at 1:18 PM | link to this | reply

As you say, no-one knows what draws two people together. Maybe there is something out of the relationship that they both need.

posted by Ca88andra on March 26, 2005 at 11:42 PM | link to this | reply

Many Hugs to you LoanLady

posted by RedHeadedGypsy on March 25, 2005 at 11:21 PM | link to this | reply

I've Heard It Said...

...laugh like you've never heard it before, sing like you are alone in the shower and love like you've never ever been hurt -- or words to that effect.  That is the measure of a life well lived.  Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.

Thank you for your kind words on my blog.  I hope I can return the favor some day.

Being a savior of those on their way out is a treasured skillset.  The emotions are very intense and it is easy to become dramatic about it all.  But as anyone who has ever held the hand of a dying person knows, people leave and people die.  What does it mean for me today if both of those things are supposed to be, "OK??"

I'm not sure if these awarenesses are your sister's intended consequences, but if she has this pattern in her life, it is clearly the curriculum she needs to matriculate through.  If this is just a fluke occurrence I wouldn't imagine the family would be so up in arms about her choices...they might instead choose to rally around and give her all the support she needs to give her treasured friend a proper send-off.  He, too, clearly has issues with being a savior, as do/did I.

At my sickest I ended up getting chicken pox at the age of 28 from the children of the woman I thought was my grand prize for eating miles and miles of s*t in this life.  That one error in judgment has cost me in many ways since that time even though I have long since given up trying to prove the case FOR insanity.  And I couldn't be happier that this woman and I parted company.  What a lousy life that would have been.

It's okay to be concerned about your sister; it crosses some sort of boundary to awfulize her choice into something self destructive.  Anything turned over to one's Creator can be transformed from destructive to creative, so no one needs to be concerned about anyone else's choices.  A person only needs the most primitive belief in a benificent higher power for tragedy to transform itself into a victory.

I don't believe that heroes have to die.  I don't like to lionize those who do suicidal things for the sake of grabbing some attention.  Some firemen cross the line from being brave to placing their whole life in jeopardy without a reasonable cause.  A child screaming in a burning house is one thing...but going into a house engulfed in flames and near collapse to seek out people to save is pure nonsense.  So is running into a burning chemical plant to preserve the investment of some schmuck businessman who probably knew all along his building was a three-alarmer waiting to find a place to happen.  But while I don't see human stupidity as particularly valiant, I don't believe anyone should be put-down or punished in some way for just being the best human they could be on a particular day.  Jesus has been known to flick a booger on some people I really felt didn't deserve the disrespect.  But what do I know about babies born with HIV?  Or children in Darfur?

I prefer to avoid the dramatic in my personal life.  Drama happens all by itself without any additional assistance from my otherwise dramatic, larger-than-life self-perception/distortion.  There is always a pay-off even when martyrdom is clearly a losing proposition.

I agree that there is more than one ideal partner for a person, more than one person that I can share a really heavy neurotic attachment to, and more than one person I can have a toxic relationship with.  In fact, the person right in front of me is generally the right person for me to be around at the particular moment in time I am in.  Even if I don't think so.  I make choices all the time and some of those choices have particular consequences associated with them.  Like, for example, if you go to a biker bar to find romances, you're going to end up in an abusive relationship.  Hey, but those chaps are so misunderstood, right?

Same with people who have savior complexes.  Anyone willing to put their life in harm's way to save another's as a way to earn a living has a death wish.  People who wish for death are seldom disappointed.  Surprised and sometimes discouraged by the pathetic nature of their final exit, yes, but everyone gets a turn in the barrel.  And if one chooses to locate an ever-increasing upward spiral of comfort and contentment with someone who has one foot in their own grave and the other on a banana peel, that person is barking up the wrong tree.  A set up for dramatic disappointment, in other words, that only the afflicted party can, and should, take responsibility for.  No one else should feel obligated to enable a person who possesses this sort of pattern to stay stuck in this rut.

All the same, my heart goes out to those who serve us all out of a profound and humble love for the work that they choose to do.  And even some kudos for the highwire acts out there who want to be like the other folks when they grow up.  We need them all.  If everyone thought the way I did no one would have ever left their cave and the world would become dangerously boring and safe.  There's enough of a suicide-jockey who thinks he's a hero left in me to realize that I really love to cheer on brave people right along with the crazy ones.

Make this guy laugh his ass off until he suffocates or codes.  There is no better way to live this life, nor a better way to leave it.  This life is not a veil of tears.  What makes us all love and want to be near each other never dies just because a particular body, or personality, gives out.  The good stuff is behind all of the window dressing pulling the levers and switches at just the right moments in time.  That part never dies.  As special as it feels when we are around it, that part is not special at all but something we all share in equally, if we choose to.

Get through the tears together, learn and grow in each moment as it comes, and do it all as fearlessly and honestly as you can.  It may not cure the sick of their chosen diseases, but it damn sure puts on one helluva fine show.  And what's best about it all is that it was perfectly real and perfectly authentic.  It never gets any better than that, no matter what the occasion.





posted by Volaar on March 25, 2005 at 9:51 PM | link to this | reply

bless her heart, and yours...for being a big sis watching out over
lil' sis's heart.. I understand both you wanting to not encourage her that much, because she is most definately going to hurt.  it hurts to love, sometimes.  I will pray for ya'll, all 3...good men are hard to find. I hate that hers won't be hers forever..

posted by Kiddo75 on March 25, 2005 at 8:37 PM | link to this | reply

That's true.

posted by ladyofshalott on March 25, 2005 at 7:45 PM | link to this | reply

LadyofSh. I don't think of him as poor, he has love.

posted by the-loanlady on March 25, 2005 at 7:43 PM | link to this | reply

loan lady
This is so beautiful, and the message is a good one.  Poor man. 

posted by ladyofshalott on March 25, 2005 at 7:33 PM | link to this | reply

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