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Could I get a little more detail about your sins?
Like, with video? You'll need to confess and that's gonna take at least a week, not to mention a lot of pennance and several bottles of holy tanning oil.
If you don't turn you're gonna burn.
posted by
mark2556
on February 24, 2007 at 5:56 AM
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Dear Father:
Please forgive me for I have sinned...sinned with the best of them...if you see fit to allow me through the gates of heaven then "PEACHY", but if you're sending me to Hell or Pergatory, please let me room with Mark2556...it would be a deposit in my...er...uh...emotional bank account. Achooo...and Amen! Little Nelly
posted by
---Masky---
on February 22, 2007 at 10:04 AM
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Different. Thanks for trying the quiz. You know you were sooooo close.
posted by
Justi
on March 20, 2005 at 11:41 AM
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YES!! and they were "professional trailer" movers. His father in law had
just climbed out from under it, and the jack broke on one side. And it cracked almost in half..lol.. I know it wasn't funny, but it was! The fact that he could attach his home to a truck and roll it to another peice of land, in itself is funny. But to have some inbred "pro" crack it in half? lol...
posted by
Kiddo75
on March 9, 2005 at 7:10 AM
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They dropped the trailer?
Oh, man. How many pick-ups, come-alongs and chainsaws were involved? Any dogs or young-un's hurt?
posted by
mark2556
on March 9, 2005 at 7:06 AM
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Well, I am proud to say my dwellings do not have wheels. But to
have a double-wide here? Wow. All the "single wide" mofo's say the same thing, "It's just a waste of money. There really is no difference, its just so they can say they have a double wide." ??? It always giggles me. They are actually jealous of the double-wider's, and feel compelled to put down their choice of a house on wheels. First off, I don't think buying a double wide was the waste of money. I think it was the investment of the trailer itself. My cousin moved the other day, and they actually dropped his trailer...lol...He got so mad that I couldn't stop laughing. He said it cracked it down the middle..lol..God, just thinking about it,,lol....I gotta give him a call and laugh some more...
posted by
Kiddo75
on March 9, 2005 at 6:09 AM
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Does the Prince of Darkness live in a double-wide?
Or isn't he that "uppity"?
posted by
mark2556
on March 9, 2005 at 6:01 AM
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this is so true, hell IS Mississippi... and hell is officially a
trailer park...
posted by
Kiddo75
on March 9, 2005 at 5:55 AM
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Chris ~ The breast implants aren't going so well...
....they keep lactating. I know it's a turn-on for some, but Papal lactation kinda grosses me out.
However, we're supposed to receive Anna Nicole Smith's old 225-lb. body later today, and the two match up pretty well in the DNA department. Hoooo!
posted by
mark2556
on March 9, 2005 at 5:50 AM
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Devil ~ Trip to hell together? OK...
But you're already IN Mississippi....and frankly, I'm scared.
posted by
mark2556
on March 9, 2005 at 5:47 AM
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mark:
Oh baby, please tell me you'll be implanting some nice, firm breasts onto Popey...he would have preferred it that way. He told me himself, before he lost his voice and breathing reflexes. Still, better you do keep him alive, since Heaven would be nothing but a let down after the Research Center. They don't allow anything above 36A in Heaven...bastards...
posted by
chris2303
on March 9, 2005 at 4:49 AM
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mark2556,
where do you chill your beer at this center? Hopefully not in the same compartment as the cryogenics room.
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on March 8, 2005 at 10:25 PM
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Hey, I tell you what. Let's plan our certain trip to hell together. I'll
bring the ice, and you can bring the sheeplard..
posted by
Kiddo75
on March 8, 2005 at 8:28 PM
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Scriber ~ Talk about your Papal highs ~
We just took a hit off the "incense" he had. Woogy-woogy-woogy!
posted by
mark2556
on March 8, 2005 at 3:31 PM
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PF ~ From your lips to God's ears...
I'm DYING to try our new water cannon out.
posted by
mark2556
on March 8, 2005 at 8:59 AM
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CAN YOU SAY....
"Go straight to Hell! Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200."
These graphics are excellent, but I think you'll find a hoard of angry Catholics marching around the Research Center with nasty signs that say, "Mark2556 IS THE ANTI-CHRIST" and other catchy slogans like that.
posted by
Passionflower
on March 8, 2005 at 8:40 AM
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Seriously, I think you will be blessed. Noted for it humor, this hits
a new Papal high.
posted by
scriber
on March 8, 2005 at 8:30 AM
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Scriber ~ You bet.
Next I'm going to tell all the Bishops and Cardinals how fantastic they are. Like, every 5 minutes.
posted by
mark2556
on March 8, 2005 at 8:20 AM
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Mark--you really know how to suck up--Papal discount and complete tour
of facilities.
posted by
scriber
on March 8, 2005 at 8:18 AM
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Hollee ~ Ho-ho ~
Poo-puns. Shoot me.
posted by
mark2556
on March 8, 2005 at 7:52 AM
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You will love the daily purge I think, Markypoo. Get it? Poo? - hahahahaha
posted by
Hollee
on March 8, 2005 at 7:39 AM
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Hollee ~ I've been upgraded to Purgatory?
Wow. And I thought this Frequent Sinner Card was worthless...
posted by
mark2556
on March 8, 2005 at 7:37 AM
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hahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha - Holy Mary, Mother of God this is
funny!
Purgatory will be so much more interesting with you there--FOREVER!!!!!!
posted by
Hollee
on March 8, 2005 at 7:30 AM
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Mark,
For the pious, the worst that could happen are the mis-conceptions of the unholy kind.
Ben
posted by
A-and-B
on March 7, 2005 at 8:13 PM
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Ben ~
They don't say, "Party like the Pope" for nothing. The next installment reveals the horrifying results.
posted by
mark2556
on March 7, 2005 at 6:55 PM
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Was the excitement too much for the Pope? These pictures showed he enjoyed himself too much.
Ben.
posted by
A-and-B
on March 7, 2005 at 6:45 PM
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Loanlady ~
- Ginger and Steffi are wearing nylons with hot pants because their fishnet stockings and corsrets are at the cleaners.
- We've hooked the Holy Head up to some batteries from one of our golf carts. We're getting some amazing results.
posted by
mark2556
on March 7, 2005 at 2:27 PM
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After laughing my tail off I forwarded the photos to the Vatican for you and their comments were:
1.Why are Ginger and Steffi wearing nylons with hotpants?
2. Don't worry about the mistake of removing the head, thats the cheap Freezer Body verision, the Pope still has some miracles up his sleeve, or did they say the Pope won't have to sneeze. My Italian is a little rusty.
posted by
the-loanlady
on March 7, 2005 at 12:51 PM
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That's not nearly as gross as his leaking head...
...we've got Pontifical fluids everywhere. What a mess.
posted by
mark2556
on March 7, 2005 at 10:31 AM
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??? I thought the majority are Catholics who venerate holy relics! More likely they want to sell strands of hair as revered objects.
What happens if the ice bags leak? Gross...
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on March 6, 2005 at 3:54 PM
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Ann ~ I'm having a hard enough time keeping the help from...
...stealing the head. These Latinos have some pretty strange recipes and are always looking for inexpensive meat.
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 3:15 PM
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Do you refreeze the melted ice bags? This is cheaper. You need round the clock invigilation to replace ice bags. The caretaker would get puffy eyes. Get a smaller ice cube for those puffy eyes!!!
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on March 6, 2005 at 3:10 PM
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Nitrogen?
They don't have that at the 7-11. I will admit that bagged ice isn't really getting the job done, though.
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 3:07 PM
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The headless head of church!!! Funny of you to conjure this up. Don't worry, post mortem microsurgery can reattach the head.
Are you using nitrogen for freezing? Lotsa other stuff can share the freezer...know what I mean?
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on March 6, 2005 at 2:54 PM
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The whole body?
Shit.
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 2:50 PM
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Why should the head be removed? Gruesome. I thought the whole body was preserved in case advanced science can resurrect it again?
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on March 6, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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Ann ~ The media are out in the dark on this news item.
This sucker is dead, as in all blue & starting to stink dead. This was verified by our staff physician right after he removed the Pontiff's head for cyrogenic freezing.
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 2:03 PM
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The mysterious prophet taught a type of condemnation of their version of pagans. But we shall not involve in religious issues here with humor blogs.
Better keep this post in your archives. Many news agencies actually prepare obituaries in advance. Are you using a crystal ball?
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on March 6, 2005 at 1:58 PM
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Ann ~ Islamorada is the Antichrist?
Dang, and I thought it was just another Florida Key with decent fishing. Damn that Satan!
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 1:48 PM
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Interesting spread of pictures here. Ironic how the Director wears a T shirt with the word that reads like the antichrist on it. ;-)
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on March 6, 2005 at 1:08 PM
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Mark, I like to report deaths of people who are still alive...the Pope got
his chance and 15 minutes of fame on my blog...it was the least I could do as an ex-Catholic and all. I wonder if Lazarus will rise again?
posted by
Ariala
on March 6, 2005 at 12:53 PM
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Renigade ~ Hobbidy-doobity!!
I'm on that like stink on a monkey. Pontiff Farewell Wear...now in durable latex, too!
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 12:42 PM
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Mark--I hope you're making a new tshirt to commemorate the event. Make
mine an XXX small and wet, please--for your viewing pleasure. LOL
posted by
Renigade
on March 6, 2005 at 12:40 PM
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Scriber ~ Can I send a fresh oxygen tank?
We have a few "special blends" you might enjoy...
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 12:40 PM
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If I'm so bad then why did His Popeness dicide to croak here?
Obviously he has...had...a keen eye for purity and goodness.
Shouldn't you be reporting his death in your blog right about now?
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 12:37 PM
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This one really made me laugh a lot...you're so bad!
posted by
Ariala
on March 6, 2005 at 12:33 PM
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I am in need of air, laughed too hard.
posted by
scriber
on March 6, 2005 at 12:09 PM
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Scoop ~ It's pour a double Dewar's...
...and stay clear of Bloody Mary. She's one of our dancers at....I mean, personal trainers at the health club, and they don't call her that for nothing.
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 11:41 AM
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mark2556 this is great nice job, now say two Hail Marys or is it pour
two Bloody Marys......?
posted by
scoop
on March 6, 2005 at 11:28 AM
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Ms N ~ Well, Lord knows we have bucketloads of the sacreligious here...
...which probably explain why the Pope kept hurling holy water at us and refused to bless the alligators.
posted by
mark2556
on March 6, 2005 at 11:24 AM
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LOL!
I do so love the sacrilegious. <Was that thunder I heard?>
posted by
Transcendental_Child
on March 6, 2005 at 11:07 AM
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