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A powerful entry...
...so much so that it has made me appreciate things a little more. All I can say is I know how it feels to be sick and tired of crap, and then you want to work things out, and when you think you're ready to take on the world, sh** hits the fan. I don't usually talk like that, but just getting some rant out. I do feel so sorry for your loss and do hope that your brother and your family can find some semblance of peace, however possible that is.
posted by
Anjeelah
on February 25, 2005 at 8:34 PM
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Hmmm...a matter of faith... I myself have none. I live in a very faithless
universe. A cosmic, multi user pinball machine... Others go and others come... But somewhere deep inside I have the inkling of a feeling that we, in the end, are but one...
Not a comforting thought, I know. But it keeps me interested in life, and fills me with awe! Wonder, interest, awe! These three things keep me going. No room for prayer, I'm afraid. Or expectations...
posted by
void-is
on February 16, 2005 at 2:00 AM
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Mia
Perhaps the real question you have brought forward here is “Does God influence what happens to us?” Some would say yes because they have prayed and good things have happened to them or those they love. They attribute those good things to God and faith. The cancer patient who suddenly goes into remission after friends, family and strangers pray for their good health; those that prayed and possibly even they who had cancer would say that their faith cured the cancer. Others would say that God does not influence what becomes of individual people. The cancer patient who dies a slow and terrible death despite the prayers of family, friends and strangers; those that prayed would say that God did nothing to help their loved one, ignoring their unending faith and trust in Him. Well, either that, or that God decided it was just that person’s time to go. But let’s take both of these situations and take a step back to look at it. Some die, some live, and there is no apparent correlation between those who pass on and those who are left behind to continue their lives. What does this say to us? Well, to me it certainly says that no, God is not influencing what does or doesn’t happen to us. Perhaps God has created this world and given us the ability to live our own lives. With that however comes the fact that He has no control over when tragedies occur. What we must then ask is does God “allow” these things to happen? Did God “allow” atrocities such as the holocaust? Did God “allow” a tsunami to end countless lives? Did God “allow” that cancer patient to die slowly and in great pain? Did God “allow” your brother’s life to end prematurely? The answer would be yes, he did. But it was in exchange for giving us the gift of free will, of free thought, in exchange for allowing us to live our own lives. With the gift of life comes the forfeiture of death, and perhaps no one, not even God has control over when or where life will end.
posted by
Unidentified_Hacker
on February 15, 2005 at 6:20 PM
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Faith
Faith! I have my own faith problems as well. I know a few who commited suicide. Some threw alcohol and some threw drugs. I myself has had feelings of giving up. But It wasn't my time. I sometimes believe God doesn't hear always either. When I had faith that was so strongs. And then threw sufferings and tribulations, My faith becomes weak. And truthfully I have sometimes that I do not want to no longer pray. I see people get futher in Life. And seem to have their dreams come true. But it seems it does not work for me either. I don't know. My feelings for God have changed. I don't feel the Love either as much. I don't know either why God treats some people better than others either.
posted by
Experience
on February 15, 2005 at 12:51 PM
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Oh Mia..tough questions..
...my belief is that 'prayer' is a manifestation of love..beaming our love to one another...and that's always good. I can't imagine that a "God" would listen to some prayers and not others. I think sending and showing love is what it's all about..in whatever form..and your brother knew he was loved...he had to have...I can feel the love in your words.
posted by
ginnieb
on February 15, 2005 at 11:04 AM
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Mia,
I wish I had words to comfort and console you...but I don't. Your brother sounds like he was a truly wonderful young man, and it saddens me deeply to know he was in such terrible pain. Please, if there's anything I can do for you, let me know.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on February 15, 2005 at 10:59 AM
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MiaElla,
Dearest Mia,
I do not have any of the answers that you demand. I know that when I was younger and miserable, I used to try to end life prematurely, but it would just never happend for me!
Hindsight is 20/20, as people love to say.
I cannot say why I am still here, or why your brother perished and why his precious daughter is here without a Daddy to raise her.
I do not have the answer to those questions.
And as far as prayer goes? Why does God answer some prayers and not answer others? What is the bother in praying anyway, if God will hear our prayers and answer whatever, just as if we had never prayed in the first place?
My Dear, Sweet Friend.....I have no answers for those questions. But they are very, very good questions!
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on February 15, 2005 at 10:02 AM
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Mia..
I don't know what to tell you. I don't have the answers or the faith. Just a cyber hug and a hope you'll find your answers soon.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on February 15, 2005 at 9:38 AM
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