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JohnMcNab
It, and dear friends, are the best things about blogit
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 25, 2005
at
2:41 PM
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beachbelle
Your headline should read 'OK, So I'll have to work harder at becoming a paperback writer,' beach. I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat when I realise I could have written a whole book and been attacked by publishers instead of writing a few pages and being critiqued by bloggers. As you've mentioned elsewhere, the reviewing group is one of the best things about Blogit.
posted by
johnmacnab
on
January 25, 2005
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2:28 PM
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L.E.Gant
Even though people have said it in different ways there seems to be a common theme that I have offered too many choices for the character.
Structure - ah yes. That has never been easy for me. I am a sloppy writer although I have learned to use structure in other genres.
Thank you for giving me your time and your views. I will post the new draft in due course
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 25, 2005
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2:19 PM
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Beachbelle:
Still catching up, so had to go back to read your novel start, and the full comments.
A long time ago (back in the 60's), I worked with a lady who had had some thirty novels published. We were doing a series of short articles, intended as a writing course (her ideas, me as the documentalist). Her approach was that ALL writing, to communicate with the readers, had to follow very strict structural guidelines. It did not matter whether it was poetry, short stories, novels, reports, articles, text books, reference books or whatever. The content was less important than having the right structure.
Novels, in her view, had to deal with change. So, the first few hundred words (her measure was between two and five minutes' reading) had to establish the direction of the change, as well as introducing the environment (people, places, times) and why the change was needed. These are what set up the conflict for the story, so that the climax is logical. It doesn't matter whether one presents the story in start-middle-end, or middle-start-end, or end-start-middle; those are created by the reader, because they want that structure to comprehend the "facts" or events in the novel.
But the first thing is to define that change in the first few paragraphs, so that the reader knows what to expect.
Your start has too many possibilities, all equally likely. You are letting the reader decide which of these to choose. Which means that, when you do get to the meat, the reader just mght feel that you have led them along the wrong path, and readers are unforgiving when they feel "cheated".
However, other than the suggestions that are already made, you do create a number of points of sympathy with the main character, even in the short extract. There's power there in the writing, and it's great. But it does need the discipline of structure.
However, a warning: from the extract, because of the possible directions, I think you are going to run into problems about half-way through the writing process, unless you simplify the choices you can give your characters. Not because of lack of skill in writing, but because you have started with too much choice.
Hope this helps, and looking forward to your "corrected" version...
posted by
L.E.Gant
on
January 25, 2005
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1:49 PM
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I feel the same way MerryAnne
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 25, 2005
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1:08 PM
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Hi Beach,
There is one thing that I have found with the Blogit Review that I haven't always found with other crit groups - they tell you what works as well as what doesn't. Most people think they just need to point out the weak spots, then you may actually take out a strong portion in an effort to address the parts that don't work. I can't say I enjoyed the crit I got, but boy, I sure appreciated it!
posted by
MerryAnne
on
January 25, 2005
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12:40 PM
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void-is
well I know it is a dilemma because people write great post to at least let you know they were there
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 25, 2005
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12:09 PM
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Beach...sometimes I think that I'd love a harsh review...what i can't
stand is when there is no review at all...or just the odd 'interesting' 'great' 'fantastic'...
Oh well...
posted by
void-is
on
January 25, 2005
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11:59 AM
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Symphony
It is one of the most positive things on Blogit
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 25, 2005
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11:54 AM
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sounds like a great thing to do
I didn't know there was a blogit review......I like people telling me what could be better and what they think...it gives me more determination....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on
January 25, 2005
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1:24 AM
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Great post BB. You had me worried there for a moment. I'm glad to hear that you got a lot of out the reviews. I did too. It was great!
posted by
Kay-Ren
on
January 24, 2005
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10:02 PM
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Wiley
As I said the comments were not so very harsh but I would be foolish not to work on the many great suggestions
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 24, 2005
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9:08 PM
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Beachbelle
I think you concentrate on the negatives of things instead of the positive. Could I be right about that luv?
For instance, in my comment over your submitted page, I was telling you how much your were able to evoke an EMOTION in me over the lady.
Now, most people would see that as a hell of a compliment, why can't you luv??
posted by
WileyJohn
on
January 24, 2005
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9:06 PM
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Tapsel-T
I think the comments make the story sound much better than it is ;-)
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 24, 2005
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8:33 PM
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Beach, this was very interesting reading all these comments/criticisms. The comments make me want to read your story (which I have not done yet).
posted by
TAPS.
on
January 24, 2005
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7:59 PM
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Criticism is very useful in writing,
I agree. As far as being tough, I'd say it makes persistence possible. I haven't even begun to revise my rough novel, I can't muster up the motivation. It will come, right? Good luck with your novel- don't give up :)
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on
January 24, 2005
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6:53 PM
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Beach--will read when I have more time. Stay tough!
posted by
Renigade
on
January 24, 2005
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6:50 PM
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Word.smith
If that is the problem it will always be the problem as I always write hastily
posted by
beachbelle
on
January 24, 2005
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6:43 PM
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beachbelle - sorry I didn't read your posts, I'm not a fiction reader so probably wouldn't be much use. I'm looking forward to your next post on writing or blogging or the world in general!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
January 24, 2005
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6:14 PM
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Everytime I know that we as a group have
done something to help each other, I feel like my time at Blogit is not the goof-off it sometimes feel like. Inadvertently, you might have identified the problem with the story - you said it was 'hastily written'. It would be very interesting to see what you can do with it, if you take some time to ravage or savage - can't remember which word you used - it yourself as you re-write.
posted by
word.smith
on
January 24, 2005
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6:10 PM
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Ugh..I'd be too scared!
Don't think I have that elephant hide yet Beach..but for the records..I wanted to read more...
posted by
ginnieb
on
January 24, 2005
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6:06 PM
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