Go to Fiction: Margarita Girl & the Shoe Virgin
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Rusades
Haha ...this isn't a novel I plan on publishing...not without going back and rewriting it with the details and narratives. Bloggers don't read fiction on here unless it's sharp, percise, short & simple.
This is more or less an outline for a novel plan on writing in the future. =)
But thanks for reading and for the advice. I wish I had written 4 books...lol....I'm still working on a novel I started more than a year ago...and I'm only on page 30...hehe....what's your secret?
posted by
MiaElla
on January 26, 2005 at 7:15 AM
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Obsessions in Dialogue
The majority of content is full of wit, vibrance, themes of sexual tensions (The latter your obvious strength.) Did notice your work lacked narratives, descriptives. A reader needs as much of what the mood or setting can offer as well.
Perhaps maybe attempt to break of the dialogue a bit more. Even things out. Page after page of dialogue can tend to seem like banter. Personally I enjoyed it. I'm working on my fourth novel as of now. Took me a long time to learn these things on my own. My comments are only in appreciation for our similiar interest.
Rusades
(BURDENS- fiction)
posted by
Rusades
on January 25, 2005 at 7:29 PM
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Witchflower
Hey you switched stories on me...do you like this fiction piece better? Thanks for visiting.
posted by
MiaElla
on January 13, 2005 at 10:11 AM
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Mia, this is great!
I love the way you write less rather than more. Very compelling.
posted by
Witchflower
on January 13, 2005 at 10:08 AM
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Mia - what can I say? I'm a damn good editor! Hell, I get paid for watching for mistakes! ;-)
posted by
roofpig
on January 12, 2005 at 11:15 AM
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roofpig
Dang-it, you're too quick...I was hoping it would be fixed before you read it....lol....I'm going to have to read it thrice before you do....and before I post it. LMAO.
posted by
MiaElla
on January 12, 2005 at 11:12 AM
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Ooo, the foot is on the other shoe now!
Oh, and "That's right, her husband." should be "That's right, YOUR husband." Just thought you should know! :-)
posted by
roofpig
on January 12, 2005 at 11:04 AM
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