Go to Total Forgiveness
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- Go to Myth: If I forgive, I must immeadiately Trust the one who offended
Yes, I can see that
So go visit her only in your mind look her in the eyes and say I love you
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 26, 2004 at 12:30 PM
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I do only feel love and compassion for her, Jim. If you can believe that.
I pray for her each day. I feel also a little pity, as her actions hurt her terribly. But it's like going back to the scene of a tragic accident. Like a soldier revisiting a war zone. And I don't think that is healthy for either of us. If I visit her, she will misinterpret this as "hope", and there is no hope. I don't want to open this up for her and I, as this way there is closure. Now she won't write anymore and reawaken my feelings. I really just want to forget, I guess.
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 26, 2004 at 11:34 AM
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Dear Klara
I empathize, but..... you need to continue imagining meeting her and find out what still needs to be healed so that you only feel love and compassion (and perhaps some anxiety). I love your efforts ... I totally respect you.
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 26, 2004 at 11:27 AM
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I've written her a letter and mailed it, Jim. I told her I forgive her but
can never establish a relationship with her. I don't know if I can bring myself to see her. I get ill actually, just thinking about it, and I've learned to avoid unpleasant situations over the years. My life is rife (poetry no less now), with much angst as is. I don't know if I should add to this. I may actually want to see her again if I do see her once, and that would only leave me open to more hurt.
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 26, 2004 at 10:28 AM
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Hmmmmmm, cannot be in her presence equals
Just a bit further on the forgiveness road, I think. You can do it! Just once to make your boundaries clear. Trust me, it will be a total healing experience. I will go with if you like. Neutral ground would be best.
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 25, 2004 at 10:12 AM
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Well then, I have forgiven her, Jim.
I do feel as if I have. I just can never be in her presence again, as it would put me back into a situation in my past that was not optimal for me.
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 25, 2004 at 8:49 AM
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Kelli, I agree
I tend to trust first and go from there... it is more fun to live that way. Also giving our trust, tends to make others live into that trust to a certain degree
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 25, 2004 at 7:34 AM
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trust should be proven, earned. I trust; however, those I've never met, until they lead me otherwise which usually isn't too far into the future.
posted by
Kelli
on December 24, 2004 at 6:40 PM
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