Comments on The Complete Book of Forgiveness - Why we Don't Forgive

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My Sweet wife, Jesus said:
"Be wise as serpents yet gentle as doves."

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong on December 23, 2004 at 9:52 AM | link to this | reply

I honestly probably need to stop believing that others will hurt me.
I didn't believe this until she did. But if I stop believing that, I will be hurt again, as that part of the problem was mine, Jim, not hers. I turned a blind eye to what was obvious then, that the person I was avoiding knew my every move, and that the only person who knew my moves at all, was her. I just really couldn't believe what I intuitively in some way knew.

posted by KlaraRoberts on December 23, 2004 at 9:26 AM | link to this | reply

That's about the size of it...

posted by word.smith on December 22, 2004 at 10:10 AM | link to this | reply

Darling, that is why I married you
You, my dear, are VERY close to your healing.  So how do you need to modify your beliefs about yourself and others and God to be free (rise above) your hurt (which literally lives in the structures of your physical body)?

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong on December 22, 2004 at 9:12 AM | link to this | reply

I believe I am a person that is good at trusting others, Jim, and also
at reading them. I usually bond quite well easily, even on here despite the fact that I don't reveal much about myself. I am totally honest with others in my life, and expect the same of them. After she did this, since she was a very fundamental person in my life, I questioned my own belief in myself as this type of person. I am fairly successful because of these qualities (one of the reasons my clients hire me is because they want to expose their own clients to me, as I've been told this repeatedly). I'm fairly guileless and not a manipulator.

posted by KlaraRoberts on December 22, 2004 at 8:40 AM | link to this | reply

Unprepared for the hurt
so what!  Of course you were unprepared... that is why it hurt so much.  So what is the core believe about yourself that makes this unprepared hurt still have power over you.  Or as us sufi's say: who do you think you are?

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong on December 22, 2004 at 8:21 AM | link to this | reply

It is a fundamental life issue, Jim.
Even on here, as I see some squabbling away today again! This has for me, been the only area of my life where I haven't been able to attain what I consider total healing. I have with my ex husband, as he was always what he was. With her, on the other hand, I was unprepared for the betrayal.

posted by KlaraRoberts on December 22, 2004 at 8:16 AM | link to this | reply

No, thank you for giving me the opportunity of addressing this fundamental
Life Issue...  Healing is on the way!!!!

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong on December 22, 2004 at 8:09 AM | link to this | reply

And you're the best blog husband in the world, Jim!
I'll immediately stop disappearing for days!

On a serious note, I see I really only think I've forgiven her. I failed all five of the above. You do need to go into more depth about how to accomplish these, for me and others on here. Justso also agrees with you on my blog, and I value her opinion and yours immensely and you both make perfect sense.

Again thanks dear hubby!

posted by KlaraRoberts on December 22, 2004 at 8:02 AM | link to this | reply

This post was inspired by a discussion by my sweet blog-wife Klara
Please see her comments at: http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/wildwriting/

posted by Shams-i-Heartsong on December 22, 2004 at 7:30 AM | link to this | reply