Comments on I Heart Men

Go to Blog-Page - Add a comment - Go to I Heart Men

Tapsel-T

I have met some men who do that too. I am not very good at small talk on domestic matters although I enjoy posts which touch on these matters in an intelligent fashion

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 1:43 PM | link to this | reply

beach - Actually, this is a good post for writing because

friendship with intelligent men can stimulate writing.   I hate to say it but so much of the time spent with women friends is listening to them either complaining about the men in their lives or talking about searching for a new love. 

posted by TAPS. on December 20, 2004 at 1:06 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks GheeGhee

Good to see you again. I definitely I still see them as men, just not as my man

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 12:40 PM | link to this | reply

Good post...men I've developed non sexual relationships with have remained

loyal friends to this day.  A few "guys that you don't think of as guys" are right up there on my list with my three best girl friends.

posted by Gheeghee on December 20, 2004 at 11:55 AM | link to this | reply

OCEANDANCER

My other half is more solitary but once in a while is in need of some decent conversation beyond what I can offer

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 11:33 AM | link to this | reply

void-is

I understand exactly what you are saying. The small-town thing and fear or lack of understanding of anything vaguely intellectual

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 11:31 AM | link to this | reply

QuirkyAlone

I think it's a shame to have to turn your back on potential friends just because on some level you find them attractive. I had one friend at my office and we didn't even have to speak half the time. We should see something going on in the office and just exchange a look because we were on the same wavelength. We also had lunch a couple of times every week. Never were any lines crossed

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 11:28 AM | link to this | reply

Frankenkitty

I have visited the college and everyone I met was a women. I am not sure yet how I will fare with students who don't have any interest in being there.

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 11:18 AM | link to this | reply

Interesting. I suppose teaching

in a college environment will allow for the chance to meet new people.  I have male friends/co-workers, but I only hang out with my brother or dad besides my husband.  I'm definately not saying it's wrong to have male friends, but I don't.  No good reason, it's just the way it is.  Take care Beachbelle

posted by Flumpystalls3000 on December 20, 2004 at 10:19 AM | link to this | reply

I Heart Men, too. I'm guessing insecurity would be why most married people don't think it's okay to have opposite sex friends. Plus, if your relationship was at all rocky, then there is the threat of that simmering flame becoming acombustible nightmare.

posted by Julia. on December 20, 2004 at 10:15 AM | link to this | reply

I feel the same about women...

friends. Greece is a very 'manly' society, which in my mind means a lot of overgrown babies looking for mommy. The kind of issues I like to deal with and the things that interest me are usualy things that men here avoid. If you talk to them and open up, they get all defensive and think you want to have sex with them!

Greek women, on the other hand, are much more openminded! They are interested in inner exploration and trans-personal ideas.

But then again, it's a small town here, and the limits are everywhere evident...

posted by void-is on December 20, 2004 at 9:12 AM | link to this | reply

I guess I'm just a solitary person. I prefer quiet times.

This goes for both genders as friends. But I've always been odd that way.

posted by Oceandancer on December 20, 2004 at 5:40 AM | link to this | reply

Men-tal stimulation Ann

Thanks

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 3:51 AM | link to this | reply

The mental stimulation is rewarding.

Merry X'mas in advance.

Have a nice day.

Ann

posted by A-and-B on December 20, 2004 at 3:11 AM | link to this | reply

Dave Cryer

The spark makes you feel alive

posted by beachbelle on December 20, 2004 at 2:41 AM | link to this | reply

And don't we all flirt for that spark on here too? We're all looking for the reader that'll say they were touched by what we wrote. And we feel bolstered by the attention we get. I do, anyway.

posted by _dave_says_ack_ on December 20, 2004 at 2:36 AM | link to this | reply

Ah the things that go on between men and women ...

are indeed the things that create the yes, you may, and no, you may not!

posted by Original_Influence on December 19, 2004 at 9:58 PM | link to this | reply

I guess the key to handling such an issue well is to not step beyond what your other half is comfortable with. Otherwise, it is ridiculous to expect a married man to abstain even from having a casual date. That's as good as expecting him to have no platonic friendship with any lady.

posted by Amateur on December 19, 2004 at 8:58 PM | link to this | reply

BB

I mentioned you in my last Blog. I hope you understand this was only because I respect you. I read your posts and enjoy your writing. I noticed that most comments here are from woman. You know we are football freaks on Sundays. Your friend, Cypress. 

posted by Cypress on December 19, 2004 at 4:28 PM | link to this | reply

BB, yeah, I agree...

posted by Ariala on December 19, 2004 at 4:12 PM | link to this | reply

Beachbelle

I am sure as things settle down and routine (heaven forbid, I use that word) starts, there will be more opportunities for men to start appearing that will have different 'uses' (sounds condescending, but not meant to be) and help in your current state of need. I have a few close male friends and a few close female friends, they each fill different voids. I also have a lot of acquaintances and couple friends which are the mainstay, as you say in smaller towns. Similarly, while I need to be around people, my other half, enjoys his and my own company - though he will venture out with some of my couple friends!

posted by littlemspickles on December 19, 2004 at 4:11 PM | link to this | reply

belle

Sounds like it! A very loyal and strong person.
 

posted by Justi on December 19, 2004 at 3:07 PM | link to this | reply

Justsouno

I do know what you mean but I reckon that 14 years without an inappropriate word said and no lines crossed it was OK.

posted by beachbelle on December 19, 2004 at 3:03 PM | link to this | reply

beachbelle

 This can be just the support you need and at the same time it can be a slippery slope. I do agree that men and women can be real valuable friends. When the attraction is simmering, there is trouble in the boiler room. One more scoop of coal and one could derail the best train that ever ran the track. 

posted by Justi on December 19, 2004 at 2:49 PM | link to this | reply

It does get to me a little at times, but

I knew that he was like this when I married him, so its a little late to change the rules now. He is a typical jealous scorpio, Italian man. 

posted by sassyass_64 on December 19, 2004 at 2:43 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks Ginnie

I am nervous about the teaching but just need to get into the flow

posted by beachbelle on December 19, 2004 at 2:41 PM | link to this | reply

Sassyass

Mine doesn't tend to worry - in fact he knows that were he to restrict me that nothing would drive me away faster - I know I am a bit of a freak like this

posted by beachbelle on December 19, 2004 at 2:39 PM | link to this | reply

Very interesting indeed....

..I've always been kind of man-shy...dunno why really. My daughter has always been much more comfortable with men and has many male friends she sees, with and without her partner...he seems just fine with it. My daughter claims she found males more interesting and less caught up with 'fluff'. Really enjoyed your post...and congrats on the teaching post! You never cease to amaze me!

posted by ginnieb on December 19, 2004 at 2:38 PM | link to this | reply

Men do make great friends, and

I had plenty of them before i got married. My husband does not approve of me going out with male friends to any type of function. I guess maybe he fears that if I have that much in common with a guy that I just might decide to leave him for the other man.

posted by sassyass_64 on December 19, 2004 at 2:34 PM | link to this | reply

Ariala

I let things flow too but things are so quiet here there is not much traffic.

posted by beachbelle on December 19, 2004 at 2:15 PM | link to this | reply

I enjoy male friends...having grown up with all boys, I always sought out

a few girlfriends growing up.  Now, I just let it flow...whoever comes into my life, is meant to cross the path.

posted by Ariala on December 19, 2004 at 1:45 PM | link to this | reply

Klara

Are they sharp dressers?

posted by beachbelle on December 19, 2004 at 1:43 PM | link to this | reply

Of course it belongs in On Writing. It's about a writer, you.

Now, for the actual remark!

I am "manned out" myself, as 99% of my clients are men. I therefore crave more female companionship these days and reach out to women on here and elsewhere more. Geez, Beach, you and I need to switch lives sometimes just for a little vacation. Everything we do is the "same" yet "different", in our parallel universes. Good post. I love seeing other sides of you.

posted by KlaraRoberts on December 19, 2004 at 1:37 PM | link to this | reply

Symphony

Best to be friends first and let the rest follow .. in your case not mine ..lol

posted by beachbelle on December 19, 2004 at 1:14 PM | link to this | reply

I prefer to have men friends!

I think its because they are easier to make friends with!....thats my excuse anyway

I hope you are ok?....take care

posted by _Symphony_ on December 19, 2004 at 1:11 PM | link to this | reply