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maralite made me cry...

Remain sweet maralite... and keep in touch

posted by zephyr on June 3, 2003 at 7:58 AM | link to this | reply

Zephyr

I thought it mean to just leave quietly fading into the last day of my subscription.  I had come to know people here and some are very sensitive and would have done the "did I do something thing," I didn't want that to happen. As it is I received several emails. 

Overall I loved BN, I loved reading the work of other writers and commenting, I made more than enough money to pay the dues, even the new dues had they applied and they didn't,  and I made some new invisible friends.

Frankly, there is a ferocious mean cold-hearted bitch part of me that will stop at nothing until I win.  I don't want to give life to that person again, she was coming up too many times lately- that is not who I want to be.  So my leaving has to do with me and who I want to be, not really anyone at BN.  I did not want that rotten apple part of me to justify flinging ill thought words of pain-- I have chosen a higher road.  On Sunday and again yesterday I quietly said some mean things to a BN member-- I regret that.  I'm glad I can start fresh today.  I need to get some fresh air, meditate and write.

I just wish everyone could "be nice"--maybe that's not the way of the world--but it is a unique opportunity to make it the way of BN. 

posted by maralite on June 3, 2003 at 5:34 AM | link to this | reply