Comments on Why choose to be fat?

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It's all linked

Cass, I've been on both sides of the spectrum - I lost 65 pounds and am now considered slender, but back in the day, not even close.

Why did I allow myself to get so large?  It was out of horrible eating habits and no exercise habits at all.  But I, in addition to having to fight that damn fat gene every single day (the cravings, my dear girl, are horrendous - unspeakably powerful) was suffering from depression and subconscious forces I didn't yet understand.

For me, it was all about abuse and self-image.  I was a skinny attractive teenager who had no idea what to do with male attention - it terrified me, as I had been a victim once upon a time, and I wanted to disappear.  Ironically, in order to do so, I gained a ton of weight, and everyone left me alone.

Was I conscious of this effort?  Not in the least.  I took solace in food and although I hated what I saw when I looked at my growing frame, it suited me at the time - it kept me safe so I could heal and become self aware.  Once I found my power, I found the ability to fight the cravings, and was able to change my lifestyle completely.

The moral of this story - people have many and varied reasons for gaining weight, the least of which is ignorance or laziness.  Remember, too, that we have massive amounts of marketing to fight past - billions and billions of dollars are spent trying to get us to eat all the *wrong* foods, and sometimes it's easier to just give in. 

Please, please don't look down on your overweight friends - we don't want to be this way, I assure you.  We all want to find our power and break free of our weight shackles.  But it isn't as simple as saying, oh, OK, I just won't eat that anymore.  If only.

Much love to you girl.

posted by poetkitty on November 23, 2004 at 9:08 AM | link to this | reply

Great, great post, here, CA.

I think like Taps, that it's not as cut and dried as it may seem. Like you, I'm nowhere near "fat", taking a size 8, but like you, I'm "more than conscious" when a few pounds slip on inadvertently and take measures immediately to trim them off.

Maybe though, the problem with your friend is also emotional. I've read many pieces on the emotional aspects of overeating, and while I can't verify this, your friend and her hubby may very well have unmet emotional needs which they fill with food. Let's face it, fatty foods are overall more satisfying, than a salad or low calorie dish. And all of us have "comfort foods" we turn to during times of stress. I personally believe that severely overweight people may just need more comforting and therefore turn to those comfort foods maybe too often. Just my opinion.

posted by KlaraRoberts on November 23, 2004 at 8:07 AM | link to this | reply

Tapsel, yes I have heard Oprah's story, I have heard about the fat gene and I am grateful I do not have the same problems. However, when I see people frying all their food in inches of oil, or dolloping huge amounts of butter on vegetables, breads and potatoes, or drinking nothing but soft drink, or eating lollies (candy) non-stop, I have to wonder if they should be complaining about their weight, as they so often do. This friend of mine was slim all her life until the last ten or so years. She complains about her excess weight, but won't change her eating or exercising habits. I don't have a weight problem because I am my own personal trainer. I watch every mouthful I eat and I force myself to get up in the morning to exercise. There was a time in my life that I was nearly three dress sizes bigger than I am now and I have no intention of getting to that size again. Both my parents put on enormous amounts of weight in their 50s and have not taken it off and I refuse to do the same. I know there are medical conditions out there to explain some weight gain, but not all of it.

posted by Ca88andra on November 22, 2004 at 8:22 PM | link to this | reply

Ca88 - It isn't always that easy for everyone.

There really is such a thing as a fat gene.  And there really is such a thing as "learned behaviors" that are very difficult to unlearn.  I'm not saying it is impossible.  It's just that for some it is so difficult that they try and give up and try and give up and try and give up until they feel like it is an impossibility for them.    For some who lose the weight, they immediately start gaining it back, often becoming even fatter than they were.   Look at a svelt and beautiful is Oprah now.  Do you know how many up's and down's she went through?  Did you know that she is afraid to be without a personal trainer who watches her every bite and her every move?   If she did not have him, she would more than likely head right back up again.  Yes, its sad.  Be thankful that you do not have these problems.

posted by TAPS. on November 22, 2004 at 4:10 PM | link to this | reply