Comments on Blogit Friends Can Be Your WORST Critics

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Mary X and Klara

I think it is more difficult to make criticisms here because the basis of any review is whether the writer delivered what they set out to produce. Here we can let those intentions fly with the wind.

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 9:05 PM | link to this | reply

Amateur,

I don't necessarily think a lack of knowledge about a topic is an impairment to providing a critique. After all a piece of writing should not only be destined to be read by experts.

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 9:02 PM | link to this | reply

Billy,I am concerned that by discarding some work after receiving criticism

that some fine writing of yours will not have gained the exposure it deserves

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 8:55 PM | link to this | reply

The best critic is someone who can tell you how your work can be improved without tearing down your worth. In that sense, the best critic can either be a stranger or a close friend. Frankly, such people are rare.

Besides the person, I think the other factor that may contribute to the lack of good critics here is the subject matter of the post. Beyond grammar, style and sentence structure, few may be familiar with the subject matter to be able to provide a rich comment.

posted by Amateur on November 15, 2004 at 5:17 PM | link to this | reply

some things done with the best of intentions end up as the worst

things ever imaginable to man.  I forget who said that

posted by Kelli on November 15, 2004 at 4:47 PM | link to this | reply

Klara, the well intentioned are not always well informed

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 4:44 PM | link to this | reply

Sometimes the greater truths are contained within criticisms not well meant

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 4:43 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks Deemer

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 4:41 PM | link to this | reply

Maybe it's me, but I like shorter paragraphs... gives me hope for reaching THE END.

posted by cmoe on November 15, 2004 at 2:51 PM | link to this | reply

Beachbelle,

Klara just made the point I was going to, abou the intention of the person criticizing.  I can usually tell if someone is being critical out of envy or to be hurtful and I try to discard that and also to avoid that person.  If the intent is not good, I'm not sure that the criticism is valid.  Maybe I'm being oversensitive.

  Also, much of what I write on blogit is pure first draft, get it out there, ger 'er done kind of writing. I'm not sure how to critique you, because I'm too busy reading content to look at style.

posted by Blanche. on November 15, 2004 at 12:35 PM | link to this | reply

Great post, Beachie.

Some criticism is given with the best of intentions, while some is given with the worst of intentions. It's difficult sometimes to intuitively discern between the two.

When I started out, everyone and their brother had criticism for me, about what I was doing with my life. No one really understood my dream. This criticism was indeed well meaning, and yet, if I had listened to it, I would have passed up one of the best experiences of my life.

So some "sifting" as you suggest, is indeed, warranted.

posted by KlaraRoberts on November 15, 2004 at 12:25 PM | link to this | reply

BB - criticism has always caused me to discard a project as no good.

Only if I really like it will I come back to it at a later date and salvage and refurbish it.

posted by FreeManWalking on November 15, 2004 at 12:19 PM | link to this | reply

QuirkyAlone

It is sad because it helps no one and drains energy which could be spent more usefully - creatively

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 11:54 AM | link to this | reply

Symphony,

I prefer that too ... we should consider advice and criticism but we should not rely on that

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 11:46 AM | link to this | reply

beach,

well, I believe you have that intention, and that is GREAT! Sadly, I also believe there are others who criticize with less-than-honorable intentions.

posted by Julia. on November 15, 2004 at 11:39 AM | link to this | reply

QuirkyAlone. In my book a criticism is a vote of confidence

I am always shocked if someone thinks my criticism is to belittle them. A criticism is made because you believe someone can do better - that they are capable of more and you want to see them move closer to realizing their potential

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 11:36 AM | link to this | reply

Oceandancer, I can ask my husband because among other things he is a writer

When I was studying he critiqued my essays and it took a while before he realized I was doing the best I could. He had graduated with the highest honors. It was great for me because his criticism really helped me lift my game. I am still nervous about showing him stuff.

posted by beachbelle on November 15, 2004 at 11:31 AM | link to this | reply

excellent post

I like people telling me the truth....not rudely...but truthfully....I respect them so much more..............on blogit I miss mariantonia.....because she always spoke the truth to me...what I am doing wrong, what I could do better.....and so on.......I think we need people like her around all the time

posted by _Symphony_ on November 15, 2004 at 10:48 AM | link to this | reply

Scriber hates tight asses, literally speaking of course....

posted by Kelli on November 15, 2004 at 9:55 AM | link to this | reply

just relax and have fun. don't be a tight ass like most.

posted by scriber on November 15, 2004 at 9:42 AM | link to this | reply

Beach,

that's a good attitude to have. I also usually get defensive at first, and then once I calm down I can look at what they said more objectively. If criticism is presented right and not with the intent to belittle, then I'll receive it more openly.

posted by Julia. on November 15, 2004 at 9:37 AM | link to this | reply

Good blog.

I always think writers are better off getting other writers to critique them, rather than their wives or husbands or friends.

posted by Oceandancer on November 15, 2004 at 9:29 AM | link to this | reply

beache it was horus

posted by Kelli on November 14, 2004 at 7:31 PM | link to this | reply

Kelli. You never know what's arounf the corner. I saw Scriber's post...

what was the other one

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 7:28 PM | link to this | reply

Beache, i was actually in TWO posts with YOU. Suprised someone dared

to utter my name!

posted by Kelli on November 14, 2004 at 7:15 PM | link to this | reply

well yes L.E.Gant... I don't want to be torn apart every day but .....

every now and again and yes I don't want someone to say it is crap... I want them to tell me what sort of crap it is and how I might prevent that in future. Is it too much to hope for do you think?

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 7:07 PM | link to this | reply

Give me people who will tear apart what I write every day of the week!

SHOW me what I'm doing wrong. SHOW me why a stylism is not usefule or whatever.

Critics of the world UNITE! Tell ALL writers why their stuff is crap AND what they can do to improve it OR add to it.

Is that along the lines you want?

posted by L.E.Gant on November 14, 2004 at 7:01 PM | link to this | reply

Frankenkitty, I fear I lack tact too

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 6:14 PM | link to this | reply

Come on, I want something I can work with?

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 6:13 PM | link to this | reply

This is pure drainage.

posted by Ariala on November 14, 2004 at 6:10 PM | link to this | reply

My dad always tried to

say that I needed more tact in my criticism. I suppose there is a way to get the point across with wounding one's ego, but I wasn't born with natural ability. This blog is nice, makes me feel better about some of the things I've said to my brother in the past two weeks. Take care:)

posted by Flumpystalls3000 on November 14, 2004 at 6:06 PM | link to this | reply

Word.smith, I don't get why people only associate criticism with negativity

If I take the time to offer a criticism it is because I want to see a person do better and because I have enough faith in them to believe they can.

Yes I think I can sense when someone can't stand me and sometimes those critics reveal uncomfortable truths.

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 5:48 PM | link to this | reply

Generally speaking,

my worst critics, (naturally) have been people who can't stand me. Although that sort of criticism is not meant to be helpful, it usually has a good impact on me.  Makes me think and take appropriate action.  

posted by word.smith on November 14, 2004 at 5:41 PM | link to this | reply

UntoldOne

Couldn't you find something to quibble with ? I would love to see your version of the same post because I would surely learn something.

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 4:55 PM | link to this | reply

Hollee

You comment on most of my posts so when the comments stop I'll know.

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 4:53 PM | link to this | reply

Canine

Now don't get me started on your writing ;-)

posted by beachbelle on November 14, 2004 at 4:52 PM | link to this | reply

Beachbelle . . .

I have nothing to add to this post.  You covered all the bases.

posted by UntoldOne on November 14, 2004 at 2:50 PM | link to this | reply

LOL sorry beach. Canine cracked me up. Beat me to the punch actually.

I hate to say great post now, because I may seem not critical enough. But you know me--usually on Blogit if I can't say anything good, I don't comment.

posted by Hollee on November 14, 2004 at 2:39 PM | link to this | reply

BB

Your writing is atrocious. And I say that in the best way imaginable. I can't stand to read a thing that you write, and usually end up with a headache from your drivel. How's that?  Gotcha ;-)

posted by canine277 on November 14, 2004 at 2:33 PM | link to this | reply