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Perhaps you were ina hurray while writing that,
but your sentences don't really flow well with eachother; partly due to bad grammar and your sentence structure. There are too many commas and not many of them are where they belong...
I don't mean to offend in any way. Just some constructive criticism-- I wish you success with your novel, article and speech.
posted by
PoeticHoneyDew
on November 8, 2004 at 9:11 PM
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