Comments on I need some encouraging advise from the wisdom gallery

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why do I get the feeling you are talking about yourself
im wrong I know........hey I always am..............I hope she feels better soon....be there for her...........

posted by _Symphony_ on June 16, 2004 at 2:20 PM | link to this | reply

she needs someone to love and to love her for sure; that would probably
solve a lot of her basic problems. Try to fix her up with a guy who wants some real bad.

posted by scriber on June 16, 2004 at 2:07 PM | link to this | reply

Basically, she needs to let go of expectations, and just enjoy the ride.  So many things we worry about and struggle over are really nothing in the end.  She needs to put herself higher on her list of priorities. 

One of the best things I've ever read about this is this:

"Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls.  The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity.  And you're keeping all of them in the air.  But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball.  If you drop it, it will bounce back.  The other four balls - family, health, friends and integrity - are made of glass.  If you drop one  of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.  And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life."

By James Patterson, from Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas.

posted by Tamara99 on June 16, 2004 at 12:44 AM | link to this | reply

When gentle love does not yield, use tough love. When tough love does no change, use enforced love in third party therapy. Professional counsellors / S.O.S. therapists / family center / Women's Center etc can help. Some resources are free or charge minimal fees. Good luck. 

posted by mariantonia on June 16, 2004 at 12:16 AM | link to this | reply

Mysteria,

I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, an advise columnist but . . .

My personal philosophy for happiness is reflected in this quote from Mark Twain:

Happy is he who forgets (ignores?) what cannot be changed.
- quoted in Our Famous Guest, Mark Twain in Vienna, Dolmetsch

If your friend refuses to let life control her, by driving her crazy with the multitude of things that are beyond her control (anything that has happened and cannot be changed), she'll be a much happier person but, as Cunninglinguist so wisely said, her happiness is, ultimately, up to her.

posted by HarveyG on June 15, 2004 at 8:59 PM | link to this | reply

You're Good People

Sometimes a person who's had a difficult life lets their past dictate everything else. That's a rut we all have to try to avoid. If you only expect to get what you've always gotten, then that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. All you can do, my friend, is continue to show your support. Her happiness is up to her, ultimately.

She needs to follow her bliss. That's what Joseph Campbell would say. Show her her bliss, Mysteria.

posted by CunningLinguist on June 15, 2004 at 9:58 AM | link to this | reply