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Shoot just the days of before marriage were so much easier. Take a deep breath, smell a flower and remember IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER! The deeper the down, the taller the height of the good times. We have to hang on through the bad shit to get to the good shit. I find that if I just put one foot in front of the other, chant, 'it will get better', smile as often as I possibly can about anything, I reach better.
I had a friend about 12 years ago that if she'd killed herself I would have understood and not hated her for it. Her life was so shitty that I, her best friend, couldn't see it getting better. She had a a psycho mom that kept trying to track her down. Her mom had hit my friend with a baseball bat. Then my friend got cancer, had surgeries with complications ever time, was told she only had a 30% chance of ever getting pregnant. My friend wanted to have kids someday so this was crushing her. Coming home one night, she got hit on the head and raped. She got pregnant from the rape, had a D & C, had complications. It was at this point that she talked to me about suicide.
What could I say? I said, "Well it could get worse but wouldn't it matter. You have more of a chance at things getting better now that so much crap has happened."
She hung in there and has been happily married for about 10 years, has a few kids and is cancer free.
A friend of ours had been diagnosed with the same cancer near the same time as my friend. She died of it. My friend got to live and she didn't throw that chance away.
posted by
Kay-Ren
on May 10, 2004 at 8:29 AM
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I relate to a lot of this ...
my idea of heaven is sleeping in. But :::dare I say it::: I actually love my job. Hated my previous ones, mind you, but this one's a joy :). A very interesting, well written post :). Enjoyed :).
posted by
Moohahaha
on May 9, 2004 at 9:03 PM
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Somebody needs a vacation. You're young, go have some fun and forget about the guilt. All that overdue bills and broken car bullshit will be around as long as you live. You sound like you need to get away for a few days. Got anybody you can go visit? Someplace fun to go swizzle Margaritas till sun-up?
I agree about the A.M. crap. It pisses me off if I have to get up before 11 am.
posted by
Passionflower
on May 9, 2004 at 8:58 PM
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