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Human, All Too Human
I'm just starting to get a hang of this bloggin' thing. And, from what I've read of your writing, you have great honesty and compassion. These seem to be endangered traits in the world. A sad fact of human existence is that most people prefer the numbness you're feeling to any actual emotion. Apathy seems to rule the day, but it has no place in communication. So, learn from your emotions, or lack thereof. That's really all you can do. And know that you're not alone.
I, too, have felt this numbness. It reflects in my erratic postings. The numbness usually comes after the tears and before the smiles. Sometimes, vice-versa. It's all part of the beauty that is Life. It's hard sometimes to see the beauty, but that's usually because we're not looking for it. I guess if I had a point, it would be: keep looking for that beauty. Based on what I've read of your writing, it really shouldn't be that difficult for you to find. 
posted by
esparatazza
on March 27, 2003 at 8:16 PM
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Yes, Dear, of Course It Does
This numbness that you mention is a normal, natural part of grief. The body can only handle so much, and it knows it. So when severe stress comes along, the body tolerates it for a certain amount of time, and then it numbs you. That way, you can't feel the pain, and your body gets a rest of sorts. With my divorce, it was in waves. I would feel ghastly and the whole awful reality would crash in on me for a few days at a time, and then I would go numb and just be a zombie for a few days. The cycle repeated for several months, but it did eventually dissipate. One day, I woke up from being numb and didn't feel crashed upon anymore----if that makes sense. Embrace the numbness as part of your healing, don't be surprised if the pain comes crashing back,and just ride the waves of your grief. Eventually, you find yourself skimming the surface like an expert surfer. Hang in there!
posted by
editormum
on March 27, 2003 at 7:42 PM
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