http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/I have had an unsually complicated life for a long time, and I didn't ask for most of it. I spent almost eighteen years as an expatriate from my home in England and it has been something of a challenge. In writing my story I may be able to unscramble it, assess it and, I hope, turn my experiences to some good. If this helps others in some small way that will be something I guess. It is very much a woman's perception of the effects of undertaking such a venture, at the personal level but also of the impact on family life, which still reverberates and in fact magnifies when the children become adults and make their own choices. In practical terms, I have posted my journals more or less as I wrote them, but from time to time I use italics to indicate where I have added some commentary to the original entry. Names have been replaced by initials or pseudonyms in the interests of privacy. hourly12000-01-01T12:00+00:00http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/636414I thought I'd reached a decision. I thought I had a plan. A beautiful new apartment came my way, and I moved in. A stable place, in the land of out-of-season daffodils, in which to just put my head down and do my work. Four days later, I flew home for a few weeks, hopefully for less than four...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/629009Just for a moment.. my wanderings have been through the mental wilderness my life has turned into since becoming involved with HB here. He can't have any idea of -- or may not actually care about -- the havoc that he, and my ex-husband's dishonest, hopelessly irrational and thoroughly...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/620421The herons have four eggs now... I feel very proud, somehow... dragged a couple of colleagues in to show them, while the hen was standing up and primping her nest. Yesterday in the early evening, CG rang to tell me he has become a grandfather again... nice news. I was happy for him, told him I'd...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/619692My two-day trip was very nice; congenial company, a stop or two to admire the coastal scenery, a rain shower or two -- some quite prolonged -- and at least four rainbows on the first day. I do like rainbows. I took some photos of the rocky shores when we stopped at Seal Point, and when we walked...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/618941A dilemma. CG (construction guy) has called and wondered if I would like to accompany him on a trip he has to make next week. He needs to pick up a digger of some kind... so romantic (smiles)... but setting that aside, although it is nice to be asked, what happens next? I asked how long he would...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/618422http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeDzETYtS7s&feature=related Loreena McKennit: Penelope's Song. Question: "Am I of this world or the other?" Answer: "I am of both." Clarrisa Pinkola Estes Estes is speaking of the worlds of consciousness and unconsciousness; I happen to find this question -- and the...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/618254"Basically I'm in a state of induced panic." Kevin Rudd (Primer Minister), speaking about his fear of an encounter with Bruno on the Rove McManus TV program last night. "Perhaps it is lucky for Mr Rudd that they did not share the stage because Bruno's appraisal was straight to the point: " Your...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/618247Life has calmed again, by what miracle I don't quite know. God; faith; prayer... Give it time; I'm sure I will have other meltdowns, other bad days. What matters right this minute is what's important; to love someone by giving them what they need, no matter how much it hurts. Today, I've reached...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/618142http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soO0CMnU9Bo Letting go takes time... you were my life for so long... I held on to the future with you, and it got me through. I cannot, still cannot, may not ever understand how or why this happened, why you changed. It is monumental, it is huge for me, not least...http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mneme613/617851I am having so much trouble concentrating today. It's really just the futility of it all. I'm a slow learner. I feel so stupid, so unsure of myself now. I spent years trying to assimilate myself to this place. When I started at university I became, unexpectedly, much more settled. Time went by; I...