What Happened When The CityBoy Moved to TheCountry

By Joe_Love - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, December 24, 2006

HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER (The Monster's Christmas Story continued)

As instructed to do, I returned to Poochie-Doo's later on Saturday evening to retrieve our children. The sun had fallen from the sky several hours beforehand, and the lights from the windows of the small shabby building cast a lonely glow into an otherwise darkened, downtrodden neighborhood. When I... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

THE TAIL OF THE ITCHING LEFT PALM

It took me only a minute to suspect that Rebecca was the owner of Poochie-Doo's. Despite the thick smell of wet dogs that permeated the air and the incessant barking of dozens of caged mutts waiting to be groomed, the plump woman who sat in back of the counter in the small reception area appeared to... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

T KEY AND POOCHIE DOOS

He claimed that he wanted a new laptop for Christmas, but I knew better. Even though for the past few weeks The Monster had been placing the Sunday newspaper on our kitchen table, conveniently opened to advertisements for CompUSA that boasted laptops on sale for $399, I knew what he would really... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Rachael Ray and The Blowtorch

Evidently, The Monster and I didn't have an agreement. I came to this realization upon returning home from an overnight trip to Asheville. When I stepped into our house, I was quite surprised to see that The Monster had been cleaning while I was away. The kitchen was clutter-free; he had recently... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Good, Then We Have An Agreement, Don't We?

As if it were a mouse that I had just caught, its tail pinched between my fingers and its body dangling helplessly in mid-air, I held the item the resembled a coffee cup warmer by its cord, away from my body, and looked at it with disgust. "What is THIS supposed to be?" I glared accusingly at The... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Merry Christmas Mrs. Glick

Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

She Had Big Hair

Maudine is married to The Monster's brother which qualifies her for being my Monster-in-Law. I fell in love with her (as much as a gay man can fall in love with a woman) on the first day that I met her. It was a few years ago, shortly after moving to Bumfolk, when The Monster informed me that we... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Taking The Dogs to Georgia

I'm not sure if Sierra and Sinatra actually enjoy visiting Georgia's house, but toward the end of our evening walks around the property, I still extend my arm, point toward her home, and announce, "Okay, Guys! Let's go see Georgia!" At this suggestion, the two little dogs race across my neighbor's... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 1, 2006

CHOCK-FULL

"Get away from your pie?" I said incredulously. "Are you aware that this pie is 10 months old?" As I awaited his response, I pictured him perched at the kitchen table with a nasty slice of pumpkin pie in front of him and a full glass of curdled milk. Sitting directly across from him was a very... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

One Flew Into My Refrigerator

My household has two refrigerators, a single luxury that I seem to have gained since moving from my penthouse apartment in the city to our horror home in the country. One of the refrigerators is in my kitchen; the other is in my mudroom. Whenever I need validation of the Glory of God, I take a good... Sign in to see full entry.

Headlines (What is this?)