Friday, May 16, 2003
Sparked by FREEDOM
Four nuns get permission from the Mother Superior to have a quiet night out in the town. On their return, in the early hours of the morning, Mother Superior is waiting for them at the gates, arms folded. The nuns line up before her, and the first one steps forward. "Have you been good and pure this... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 1:29 AM Comments (0) (link)
Friday, May 2, 2003
Rival Cities
I'm interested - does the concept of two neighbouring towns being constantly at each others throats occur anywhere else on the planet other than UK? My nearest city is Newcastle, in the north-east of England. The nearest city to it is Sunderland. At best, the rivalry is good natured, humorous... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 1:40 AM Comments (0) (link)
Thursday, May 1, 2003
The Three-Legged Pig
A new vet, touring the farms on his patch, arrives at one and spots a three-legged pig in a field. He makes a note of this curiosity and decides to ask the farmer about it. So, after initial introductions and chats about livestock in general, the vet raises the question, "So tell me - what's the... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 2:32 AM Comments (0) (link)
Saturday, April 26, 2003
Got Any Bread?
So a duck waddles into a bar and says to the barman, "Got any bread?" "No we haven't, I'm afraid," says the barman. "We have beers, wines, spirits, and a selection of crisps and peanuts, but no bread." "Got any bread?" says the duck. "I've just told you, no we don't. Now do you want a drink or... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 2:23 AM Comments (1) (link)
Friday, April 11, 2003
To the citizens of the United States of America
This was going round the UK at the time of the Bush "election" debacle in Florida. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 3:58 AM Comments (1) (link)
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Especially For Zephyr
There's two priests out playing golf. One of them isn't that good, and uses some choice language when the ball goes to places other than where he intended. On one such occasion, at the fourth hole, the priest says "Damn! Missed!" His concerned colleague says "Listen. You're a man of the cloth. You... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 2:09 PM Comments (0) (link)
Tuesday, April 8, 2003
Ten Things You'd Love to Say at the Office
but daren't! 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck. 3. How about never? Is never good enough for you? 4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 5. I see you've set aside this... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 6:37 AM Comments (0) (link)
Thursday, April 3, 2003
The World is Upside Down!
This was the take a friend of mine offered over the phone the other night. His reasoning? The best rapper in the world is white. The best golfer is black. The French are accusing the Americans of arrogance. And the Germans don't want to go to war! Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 2:12 AM Comments (0) (link)
Monday, March 24, 2003
From Thomas (9) and Steph (5)
This one comes courtesy of two of my favourite children in the whole world... Where does Saddam keep his CD collection? In a rack. Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 3:53 AM Comments (0) (link)
Friday, March 14, 2003
The Trainee Lion-Tamer
The young man wants to be a lion-tamer, so he goes to vist Eduardo, one of the best in the business. "So how do you stay safe when you're in the cage with the lions, Eduardo?" asks the young man. "Well, you have three lines of defence. First, you can stand on the chair and use the long whip. You try... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by DamonLeigh at 4:52 AM Comments (0) (link)
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About this Blog
Laughter is the best medicine - wake up grinning, go to bed chuckling, smile at every opportunity. This blog is here to help... Feel free to throw subjects at me and I'll try to accommodate, but don't get me started on animals or we'll be here till yon time.
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