The Riffs Room Re-upholstered

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Revenge of the Nerd: Part Deaux

So there was this kid I went to school with back in the day; for our purposes here, we'll call him Furd Burphle. That's Doctor Burphle to you. He was that guy, the class spaz, the brainiac, the kid everyone laughed at but didn’t really pick on that much, because he was dorky, but a good guy. He was... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

You gotta be Freakin' Kidding Me: Part Tres...

Okay, now I think I’ve seen everything. First, let me preface this with the following observation: It is extremely difficult for me to admit I was watching one of those morning fluff shows like Good Morning America. Nonetheless, as I was downing coffee and wondering why in hell I was subjecting... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A somewhat serious moment: Why They Can't Run Free...

My last little epistle here was a piece about an initiative important to anyone who has ever had to fumigate their attic or call the power company after a bushy-tailed daredevil didn’t quite make the leap from Magnolia limb to power line. I was talking, of course, about a squirrel contraceptive... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

“Squirrel contraceptive research under way”

I don’t know what kind of mental image that conjures for you, but hopefully, you’re not as twisted an individual as me. I suppose if nothing else, such a headline certainly drew me into the body of the story. As it turns out, it’s a pretty good idea, one I’ve always advocated for most humans as well... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Hey Kids! Try Our These Romantic Redneck Pick Up Lines!

So this greeted me in my morning email and I thought it was too much fun not to share. Try these next time you need a good swift slap in the face! 1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Heading to Florida with Satan's child...

"There is no way you could have possibly be the fruit of my loins. As soon as we get home, I'm gonna punch your mother right in the mouth..." Jackie Gleason, "Smokey and the Bandit." Occasionally, My Beloved gets into a bit of a funk. She’s not bi-polar, or anything like that, but occasionally, she... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Oh How I WISH I HAD WRITTEN THIS!

This came to me from a fellow musician and bass player extraordinaire, known around here as "The Renowned Mound of Sound." It sums up what every band out there knows. Enjoy! HOW TO REQUEST A SONG FROM THE BAND When requesting a song from the band, just say "play... my song!" We have chips implanted... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Old friends, good times.

So I ran into an old friend the other day, someone for our purposes here we can call "Tee." Like all of us, he’s put on a little weight, but other than that, nothing much changes. He’s still hilarious, easy going, slightly spastic, and remembers details about past misadventures even better than... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A little friendly VD advice...

Here we go again. Just when you’ve almost gotten out from under the Christmas bills, along comes Valentine’s to put you back. Unless, of course, you’re frugal, like me. For Valentine’s Day this year, I think I’m going to give my Beloved the day off from cleaning the house, cooking the meals, mowing... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Oh, Black Water

It’s been awhile since I’ve been on the Edisto River. But it runs through me in ways I cannot explain. Some of it has a lot to do with family origins as well as personal time spent exploring many an acre of swamp on family property, a part of which lies near the edge of the northern shore of the... Sign in to see full entry.

About this Blog

Flotsam, jetsam, tangled threads and ADD moments. Stupid jokes and esoteric observations. An occasional deep thought, even though I try like hell to weed those out as often as possible. This is just a comfortable place to come get an occasional chuckle or two. And yeah, I left for awhile -- most of us do at one point or another -- and now I am back. I feel no obligation to explain; suffice it to say, "There's no place like home."

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