The Flatliner Diaries

By saul_relative - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

That Last Item

Ever wonder about that last item, that lonely trooper awaiting to be restationed? Say it's a can of peas or a cordless drill. Have you ever noticed that, if you return to that store later in the week or maybe two weeks later, and if the store hasn't recieved new product like that lone sentinel, that... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Yellow Is For Dying

A chain of hospitals in Florida use yellow wristbands to signify that a patient does not wish to be resuscitated if, for whatever reason, his body decides to expire. It seems that the current fad of the LiveStrong bracelet has set up a potential problem with... well, with those who might wish to... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

The Buying And Selling Of Anything

EBay, the online auctioning marketplace, is an internet bazaar. You can buy and sell just about anything online through these guys. In fact, the Holy Sandwich, a grilled cheese affair with the image of the Virgin Mary affixed atop it, sold to an online casino for $28,000 last week (I had a little... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Amusing Headline

A headline on AOL News caught my eye: "Flame Retardant Found In Lake Michigan". Obvious smart-ass remark: Yes, it's called "water." (Laughter from the audience.) Seriously, though, the story is about the high levels of PCBDEs in the water, the lakebed, and in the fish, including fish used for public... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Pennsylvania Mice

A man in Confluence, Pennsylvania somehow shot his girlfriend in the arm Thursday (Oct. 21) when trying to gun down a mouse. I can't for the life of me figure out how she could have gotten in the way. Just how big are the mice in Pennsylvania? Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Forever Respected

Rodney Dangerfied died yesterday; he was 82. I remember Rodney's first appearances long ago on The Tonight Show (the Carson years) and his immortal portrayal of an obnoxious nouveau riche golfer that completely pissed off prissy Ted Knight in Caddyshack, easily one of the funniest comedies ever... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

A Shot To The Leg Gives Gun Safety Shot In The Arm

A Bloomington, Indiana, coroner, while giving a demonstration on gun safety, accidentally shot himself in the leg. It seems that he was checking to see if the firearm was unloaded when he found out it actually was -- the hard way. Claiming it an unfortunate accident (and how could it be miscontrued... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Reading Your Mail (No, The Postal Type)

I am sitting at a small desk in the public library. It seems that, since I neglected to open my mail, my local telephone company found it of a timely nature to disconnect my service until payment is rendered. I said they found it of a timely nature. It goes without saying that my ISP isn't bundled... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

El Presidente Anyone?

They unveiled President Clinton’s and First Lady Hilary’s portraits yesterday. Everything went off without controversy. I am surprised that President Bush didn’t take the opportunity to pass out cigars, however. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Eiffel Towering Universe

Just when you thought those arrogant bastards slightly south of the English Channel could not get any more snobbish, they get a little support. And from the most unlikely of sources: Germany. German scientists in Ulm, Germany (birthplace of Albert Einstein), have devised a model of the universe that... Sign in to see full entry.

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