The Flatliner Diaries

By saul_relative - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

I Tear Up When I Think That I Missed Stephen Colbert's Bush-Bashathon

Apparently, Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central has sparked an unprecedented debate on the internet. Why? Certainly not because he bashed Bush (although the fact that he ruthlessly slammed him to his face begs some healthy respect). No, it seems that the fact that the "liberal" media's lack of... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? -- George Carlin

Anybody who loves the acidic wit of George Carlin will revel in the burning bath that is his latest book. Carlin is almost as funny on paper as he is live. Almost. Carlin takes on religion, stupidity, women, sexists, morons, corporations, etc., etc. But mostly he attacks political correctness.... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

MySpace Apparently Between Her Ears

Remember that pretty blonde school teacher who had sex with the underage student, got caught, was prosecuted, and... What do you mean, which one? Oh. Okay. I see what you mean. Let me narrow the playing field a bit. Remember Pamela Rogers, the pretty blonde Tennesse teacher who had sex with an... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 7, 2006

God Can't Drive In Pennsylvania

Well, he probably could if they'd just give him a license. But Berks County Senior Judge Forrest G. Schaeffer won't allow a license to be issued to God, no matter how many documents have been signed by him in the past. Schaeffer says the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation has every right to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

The Jesus Ice-Water Debate

There is a theory put forth by Professor Doron Nof of Florida State University that conditions may have existed in the Sea of Galilee region during Christ's time that allowed ice to form on the water, therefore permitting onlookers from a distance to think that Jesus was walking on water as he tread... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 2, 2006

Men And Women And Semantics

"You were never there for me." There's a line men hear a lot just before or right after the break-up. The problem sounds like proximity. A space thing. It sounds like you were always "here". Too close. Too personal. Maybe too cloying. Because, you see, when she needed her space, you weren't "there"... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 1, 2006

Did Anyone Happen To See The Eclipse?

I was excited as hell. I ran outside and looked up and -- Something was blocking off the light of the sun, dammit!!! How the hell was I supposed to see the eclipse? Is there anyone I can sue for this? Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Larry The Cable Guy And Ron White

There is nothing like the media onslaught of a comedian who has gained name and face recognition. You will suddenly see them everywhere (especially if they are industrious and have a good agent). They'll be on talk shows and radio shows and commercials. They'll present awards and be asked to... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

St. Louis DJ Calls Condi A 'Coon' And Is Canned

In what has to be one of the worst slips of the tongue since Dubya last made a public speech, a St. Louis disc jockey, while lauding Condoleezza Rice's accomplishments, said that as an African-American, "that would make her a big coon." He had meant to say "coup", describing a future accomplishment... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Oops! She Did It Again

It looks as if Britney Spears is pregnant again. Apparently she and husband, K-Fed, the failed Eminem wannabe, are trying to issue forth the stand-in child for baby Preston, their first child that Britney likes to drive around unrestrained. Can someone give her the Michael Jackson Parenting Award,... Sign in to see full entry.

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