Pages of The Damned

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Friday, May 16, 2003

ROBERT STACK DIES, JOINS NEW REALITY-TV SHOW

ROBERT STACK TO HOST “UNSOLVED OBITUARIES” LOS ANGELES, Ca. Robert Stack, who died last week at age 84, has agreed to host a new reality series for The Hereafter Network beginning this fall. Stack, the former host of “Unsolved Mysteries” and star of televisions’ “The Untouchables” from 1959-63, will... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

KLINGONS GO MENTAL, INVADE OREGON

OREGON CHANGES MIND, KLINGONS DECLARE INTERSTELLAR WAR PORTLAND, Oregon Officials at Oregon ’s Multnomah County Department of Human Services have rescinded a call published earlier this week for “interpreters fluent in Klingon” to help communicate with mental patients at the county’s mental health... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 9, 2003

FATAL AFTRACTION - LETHAL PSYCHOTIC FLING

U.S. TO AFGHANISTAN: I WON’T FORGET YOU KABUL, Afghanistan The United States assured Afghanistan Friday that despite its preoccupation with Iraq, it’s not going to forget the other war-ravaged nation. “We’ve just been really busy at work,” Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage told a neglected... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 5, 2003

NATIONAL PARKING VALIDATION KEY TO 2004 ELECTIONS!

DEMS BARE BRAINS IN UNDERWHELMING DEBATE COLUMBIA, SC. Nine democratic hopefuls fought desperately Saturday night for some semblance of a platform on which to launch their presidential candidacies in 2004. In a 90-minute televised debate from the University of South Carolina, presidential hopefuls... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

MASS. MAN FOUND WITH NO OPINION!

AREA MAN QUARANTINED: HAS NO OPINION ON DIXIE CHICKS HAVERHILL, Mass. April 28 A Massachusetts resident has been quarantined in what the state believes may be the first case of NOWS (No Opinion Whatsoever Syndrome) registered in the U.S. since the outbreak of the infectious Dixie Chicks Media Frenzy... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

WAL-MART BORDELLOS - ON SALE!!!

WAL-MART SEX RING EXPOSED Bargain-Basement Brothel Undercuts Competition LOS ANGELES, California Women employees of Wal-Mart have alleged they were part of the largest prostitution organization in the world, operated by the world’s largest retailer. A group of women suing the company for gender... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 28, 2003

SCHOOL BOARD VANISHES, SORCERY SUSPECTED

HARRY POTTER BOOKS ORDERED BACK INTO SCHOOL, BOARD MEMBERS DISAPPEAR LITTLE ROCK, Ark. April 23, 2003 A federal judge ordered Harry Potter books back onto an Arkansas school district’s library shelves this week, rejecting the school board’s claim that tales of wizards and spells could harm school... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 26, 2003

HEY, YOU GONNA EAT THAT FAT?

LOW CARB, BIG BEEF GURU ATKINS DIES NEW YORK April 17, 2003 Dieters, health groups and beef councils throughout the world are mourning the death of Dr. Robert C. Atkins, who died Thursday after an accidental fall left him in a coma. Atkins suffered a blood clot as a result of the fall outside his... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

CHANGING PALACES

U.S., BRITAIN IGNORE UNITED NATIONS IN REMODELING IRAQ - Mark Fisher WASHINGTON D.C. April 17, 2003 The U.S. Department of the Interior (DOI) today it intended to proceed with plans for the remodeling of Iraq without assistance from the United Nations and European Union. DOI Secretary Bob Vila... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

MADONNA LAP-DANCE

MADONNA RELEASES VIDEO & PROVOKES DIALOG NEW YORK (Garlic News) Madonna’s revamped “American Life” video was released on April 19, after the original version was pulled just hours after it was initially released earlier this month. The pop star felt its release at the beginning of the Iraq war would... Sign in to see full entry.

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