Don't Smile or Say Cheese

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

What don't you like about this deal? the car salesman asked ...

as I took off my glasses and focused on the figures scrawled on the back of a napkin. Well, Mohammed, where do you want me to begin? Better Half and I went car shopping this weekend, more to take advantage of the nice weather than to seriously consider buying a vehicle. The insurance adjuster still... Sign in to see full entry.

1-800-Be-A-Geek; I'm pounding my router into scrap metal

and it feels great. It will go on the mantle next to crushed Dell and cratered fax machine. All once useful computer equipment that was discovered with one or more serious design flaws. This particular router contains a firewall that prevents me from sending email or updating my web sites, for my... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Yes, Girl Genius, There is a Santa Claus

Dad, tell me the truth, are you and Mom Santa Claus? What, you don't believe in Santa Claus? Well, I do, but a lot of kids in school make fun of me and say that Santa Claus is really just the parents buying kids stuff. I want to know the truth. I'll tell you one thing I know to be true. If you stop... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Son of Satanico Reappears, and needs $100,000 to survive

Met Barry at the warehouse to discuss the possibility of opening a Haunted House next fall. Barry used to own one of the most popular Houses in the area back in the day, but that was before Haunted Houses were big business. If he doesn't like the warehouse it's no go, because I don't know anywhere... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Headhunter

The man with the wire-rimmed glasses behind the desk studied my resume, sized me up a couple of times, then chuckled. His office was sparsely furnished; a small but elegant desk, a few awards on the wall and a huge window behind him that gave a spectacular view of the city from the 22nd floor. He... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Happy Happy Joy Joy – I got a Bonus!

As soon as I walked in today, Great White Hunter called me into the conference room. I hadn't even finished wrapping his present as this is our last day of the year. You might want to hold off on that until after our talk, he said. Nah! I had bought him a really fine bottle of Stags Leap that I... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Attn. Fat Chick Shoppers: Control Your Kids Before Someone Gets Hurt

I drove to the dealership because the attorney needed a photo of the wrecked Little Red School Bus. Afterwards, I pulled into the Great Wal Mart of China, needing to drop off the film and get a few enlargements from cds. As soon as I walked in, I was reminded once again how much I hate shopping.... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Call me an evil stepdad, pregnant or not, she's not moving back in with us!

Girl Genius and I were slurping our dinner while Better Half recounted her day: "Lunch with Holly (former co-worker), she says Hi, no new gossip; Aunt Sissy made it through surgery OK and is already home; talked to Ashley." At the mention of Ashley (aka Deadbeat Gene), Girl Genius put her fork down... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

The Little Red School Bus heads to the Great Junkyard in the Sky!

Just like that, another family member has passed to the next dimension. "Your vehicle has been declared a total loss," the adjuster said metter-of-factly. "You need to release it to the salvage yard." Just like that, our 97 Toyota Rav 4 was gone, victim of a orange-haired, eyebrow-pierced... Sign in to see full entry.

Me heartless? A bum asked me for money

as I left the Minyards with my container of coffee creamer this morning. But was he really a bum or someone that needed help? I didn't give myself a chance to find out. He tried to intercept me or the lady in front of me as we headed for our cars in the parking lot. We both knew what was coming. She... Sign in to see full entry.

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