Friday, January 11, 2008
Thoughts on getting old(er)
What was I saying? As one’s age advances things change from being artificially hip to having artificial hips. My hips, thankfully, are still original equipment, but they have more than a few miles on them. Likewise my knees let me know they have wear, mostly in the mornings. When you find conversations among friends turn to medical maladies, you’ve hit the “golden age” I’m here to tell you. Does the debate turn to the efficiency of ED drugs? Ed: Say, how does that Viagra work anyway? Fred:...
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Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Sitting pretty
Some things just don’t set too well with me. For instance the sit and set syndrome. At first blush they seem interchangeable, but I sat out to search the dictionary and found this at sit “to rest ones self upon the buttocks”, well that would seem to set the story straight. Well until you look at set, whereupon you will find, “to cause to sit.” Oh really? If someone offers you a chair, it seems you must set before you can sit, but sitting isn’t setting, that’s the locale where you are resting...
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Sunday, January 6, 2008
Groping the news
Headlines swirl as the race to the Whitehouse heats up. Now it’s Obama and McCain. The USA Today website has a photo of the two, interestingly, McCain is to the right and Obama to the left. If you look at their eyes, Obama is looking to the left and McCain is looking to the right. I wonder if someone set that up intentionally? I know I would have. Of course the political swirl will mix things up as candidates drop by the course of this race. Of course the news story is about a poll. How accurate...
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Saturday, January 5, 2008
Thoughts on the universe.
Science is a funny thing. Astronomers will tell you “we don’t really know what the Milky Way Galaxy looks like”, then they will spend hours telling you what it looks like. Humans have always been fascinated by the stars. That probably began when they didn’t have any televisions, internet or video games to steal their attention once the sun went down. All there was to do was stare at the sky and marvel at the vast array of twinkling lights up there. Imagine, if you will, our two cave persons Zog...
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Friday, January 4, 2008
Obama, Huckabee and Britney, OH MY!
This just in, as in like, we’re all, whatever! Who cares about some dudes with weird names like Barak and Huckabee, what we want to know is - how is Britney faring with her latest break down? Did the paparazzi get any good shots of her nether regions without sufficient coverage? There never seems to be a lack of coverage about her uncoverage, if you get my drift. Never mind that a far right Christian and a black man won the first sparring match of the 2008 race to the Whitehouse, what we really...
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Thursday, January 3, 2008
Have you ever been lambasted?
It doesn’t sound like something one would want to do, that is, to be a young sheep being cooked with a constant dripping of butter and seasonings being applied. Lamb basted, what a horrible pun, Yew will have to admit. By now you realize my meds have worn off and my mind is running amuck. I have heard rumors of herders sometimes having sexual congress (that could be a pun all to itself) with their charges. You can always spot then however, they just look sheepish. That’s right, it is b-a-a-a-a-d...
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Monday, December 31, 2007
Whuddya think?
Could it be said that lesbians are broad minded? When mathematicians gather for a Pizza, do they figure out how many pieces they need by using pi? Did old-fashioned cowboys ever go for a cattle “test drive”? After looking at Chihuahuas and other small dogs, I wonder if this downsizing continues, how long before fleas will have dogs? I heard snakes wanted to cross the picket lines and fill in for the writers, but even they wanted scale. Will America really elect a president named, Barak, Mitt, or...
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Sunday, December 30, 2007
Knew years revelations
We all do it. Vow to stop drinking as we hurl fine wine into a filthy toilet with sounds like a train having dental work without benefit of anesthetics. We promise ourselves that “next year” we won’t eat so much, but continue to forage because, “hey, it isn’t 2008 just yet.” Now would be a good time to look back and reflect on things not done. After all, with each passing year, there is less time to do those things we say we want to do. Well, if we really wanted to do them, why wait for a new...
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Making snow men
First, most snow men traditionally have been made of three snowballs. A guy with three balls? Snow men remain cool, no matter how attractive the women may be that walk by him. From all we know about real men, show us a good looking lady and we lose our cool pretty quick. A man returning a snow shovel to the store, it is obviously defective. Drop dead gorgeous customer service person: May I help you sir? (I should point out here that her hair is golden flax falling down around her shoulders like...
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Friday, December 28, 2007
Come wiz me to my crawl space!
Not as cool as zee Kasbah, no!? Oh come on now, who among us hasn’t relished the thought of wriggling through a hole to visit the underbelly of one’s house? Isn’t it time you re-established your relationships with things that like to live in the dark? Usually, the reason they are called crawl spaces is the very thought of entering them makes the back of one’s neck crawl. That and the term “crawl” is very descriptive of the way one gets around under there. It is with very slow, deliberate...
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