I Do, Adieu

Monday, June 7, 2010

On my search to figure out who I am, I've realized this: Who I've become trying to be someone I never was for someone who never knew me is now as much a part of me as the parts of me I've lost. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Rough day...

I am gonna ramble here for a bit, cause I need to. I am having a bad day with stbx. People say God doesn’t make mistakes, but I think He did with me. I am a mistake… a big one. I shouldn’t be here. I am not having a pity party; I don’t want sympathy. I just need to understand what my reason is. I am... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Divorce and 40

Well, I thought it would kill me to turn 40... but it didn't. I did finally go to the doctor to get on an antidepressant. That was hard to do. Several friends have told me it was the best thing they ever did, but I just kept telling myself, "chin up!" I finally realized I was drowning and that I... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Today is his birthday

It was his weekend with the boys. But I asked if I could have them last night because I had told the boys we would go pick out a birthday present for their dad and bake him a cake. I didn't tell any of him this, so when I asked him for the boys, he said, "Sure, you can help them pick out their... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The guy to my left

I was playing cards last night, just wanted to relax, not think and well, hopefully win some hands. The guy to my left was from my community and our conversation turned to my stbx. He didn't have a lot of good to say about him and said he could tell me a lot of stuff. Well, I am sure he can't tell... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Yesterday, we met in the middle and agreed on the terms of our divorce. So everything should be finalized in a few days without a big, bad, nasty court hearing. I am relieved about all that, but not so relieved by the finality of my divorce. People keep commenting on how strong of a person I am, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 16, 2009

So you know...

Things that make me happy (I had a long talk with stbx yesterday and he said if ever thought he could make me happy, he would give it 200% - I personally think he is being dramatic). Today, I sent him this email So you know: What makes me happy Watching my kids playing, sleeping, working… The way... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Is this Normal?

I guess there are books about divorce, but I don't have time. I am in the middle of it all and I need to know: Am I crazy? Will this pass? Do I stay the course? Is this normal? We have been separated for almost a year. We were married 15 years, two small boys. He cheated (and there was verbal and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Rough Times :(

well, we have started trying to negotiate... and it isn't pretty. He can be a pretty decent guy until you start talking money, then he gets nasty, tight, stingy, unwavering. He doesn't think he should have to pay child support. We are sharing custody, so he doesn't see why he should pay, but he... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

"I Told You So"

Close friends and family are saying, "I'm seeing the person I once knew and loved again." Others have commented, "She seems so happy." There is a noticable change in my disposition. I feel lighter, as if (hate to use the cliche, but...) a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know the... Sign in to see full entry.

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