Wednesday, October 3, 2018

I Have That Shrinking Feeling, and it Sucks.

So the Large Hadron Collider could shrink the Earth until it was only 300 feet across! Alternatively it could create a black hole that could suck the Earth in. I’m so worried I might even have that extra single malt. If it shrank the planet a few commuting problems would be solved, and we could all... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 28, 2018

A Full Disclosure Clock?

What on earth did that mean? I was reading an unknown Christmas catalog that had been delivered with the other crap - er, sorry, delivered with the weekly ad-bag. Usually we just transfer the ad-bag to the recycling bin, but this one had fallen out and was lying there,open at page 1, showing an... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

How to Become a Billionaire

1 Be male 2 Make sure your religion demands circumcision 3 Ensure that the surgeon cocks up your circumcision 4 Check the tip of your penis is cut off After that, sue the surgeon for leaving you with an unattractive penis, (seemingly there’s such a thing as an attractive one.) being unable to father... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Chapter One

Well that’s that one done. Only another 29 to go, or whatever it’s going to take. Just the draft, not the final, but it’s still 5,000 words.. Now what have I been missing? Anything exciting happening in Blogitville? I’ll have the weekend off and start Chap 2 - maybe - o r perhaps I’ll get in touch... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Aren’t Women Strange?

I know a lot of people are already nodding at those three words. And lots of people, mostly all women, are shaking their heads at those three words. To help you decide whether you’re on the nodders or shakers brigades, let me give you an example. 1 A few years ago my wife and I decided to get rid of... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Darn It. There goes that Selfie Theory

I was certain that the only people who took selfies were first time digital camera owners or first time cell phone owners. Perhaps people getting their favorite stars’ autograph would also take a selfie. And, naturally every politician that ever breathed would take his or her own selfie - actually,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 7, 2018

The Average American owes $61,000 when they snuff it?

Wow! I’ve got a lot of debt to catch up with. When I first arrived on this side of the Atlantic, I was in the bank opening an account - I had some money then. I saw all these large cars driving past and I mentioned in an aside to the mangeress, “People here must have a heck of a lot of money, when... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Goats Like Smilers? What About Frowners?

Seemingly goats (Capra aegagrus hircus) if you want to be pedantic about it, are drawn towards people who smile. Not just any old smile, smirk or sneer. It must be a genuine, closed mouth smile. If you don’t know how to pretend to do one of those, take lessons from a politician, from any nation. By... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

9 Year old Gay Kills Himself????

I’m confused - again. A Colorado mother has just stated that her 9 year old son has committed suicide because he was bullied at school - for being gay? I am aware that I was born in a different age and am an ancient old fart. There was no such thing as sex education in my age. When I was 9 I didn’t... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 24, 2018

Let me get this straight.

In this century of school massacres, the days of telling the students to lock the classroom and hide behind their desks to protect themselves against the killers are long gone. The killers now have rifles that can fire bullets through walls, doors, desks and bodies. The next logical step would be... Sign in to see full entry.

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