Monday, December 10, 2018

Patenting a Dance Move??

How can anybody sue somebody for plagiarising a dance move? That’s what the headline said somebody was doing. I mean, think about it. Me! I know I’m a methodical, irritating asshole at the best of times but when I dance - after a few fifths naturally - hold on ‘til I look up ‘fifth.’ I never have... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

The Curve of the Earth

…...is sometimes very obvious. In my case, it was obvious in Scotland. We were touring on the north coast, in John O’ Groats, which is on the north/east coast. My better half - is that a sexist description nowadays? - was happy with that, but I reckoned that when we were here we might as well see... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 7, 2018

Seismic Series (8) Finale

You’re going to have to manage the rest on your own. I’ve had it up to here! The rest you can knead, bake and serve personally. One Life Bush orchard would have been enough, but NO, you have to plant trillions of orchards. Not only that, you have to scatter billions and billions of seeds, and those... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Seismic Plate (7)

Let me get this straight. You are going to make things more interesting? I was quite happy with my unbelievably hot spinning oblate spheroid of mercurial quicksilver, even after you spilled that cold, salty coffee and covered two thirds of it. I mean. Let’s face it, it is a bit of a cockup, what... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Seismic Plate (6)

There have been so many ages of freezing and thawing, that seperate plates are forming; don't they look artistic? The problem with seperate plates is that they tend to shift on top of each other, rather like quakes or shocks, in fact, as 'Seismic' being the Greek name for shock, we'll call them... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Cold Seismic Plate (5)

There is a problem. The microwave breaks down and we have no heat for a few million years. The Lava Ball has to come out, but it’s still spinning. What to do? Not a lot you can do, actually. The ball is going to freeze so hard that ice is going to form on it. In fact every time the oven breaks down,... Sign in to see full entry.

Seismic Plate (4)

Now I want you to keep the ball spinning and make yet another cup of coffee, and put even more cream on it, and leave it for longer, say another few million years. When that’s done…..damn it, what have you done with the water you made the coffee with? You aren't meant to pour it over the ball of... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Seismic Surfing (3)

Have a restful million year long nap? That’s great. Now to remind you, you have a spinning ball of heated mercury, and a cup of coffee with a disgusting, thick million year old, really, really thick scum of cream on the surface. Thank goodness, like SiH, that you like your coffee black. Now I would... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Seismic Wave Surfing (2)

Leave your ball of mercury on full heat, and assuming you are looking down on the ball, impart an anticlockwise spin to it. Now find another microwave oven. Got it? Good, now percolate a hot cup of coffee and put a smidgin too much cream in it. Do not drink the coffee, in fact don’t even touch it.... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Can You Surf on a Seismic Wave? (1)

It was a question from RPresta that got me thinking. She asked ‘ Perhaps you can tell me why seismic waves wrap around the earth's mantle, cause I sure don't know. Gravity?’ Obviously, I thought, It’s because….because…damn it, how can you describe something you know in your own mind, but have never... Sign in to see full entry.

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