Thursday, September 16, 2004
The Devil's Minions Have Invaded My Home...
I woke up this morning to the birds singing and the sun shining. My husband had left for work and my son and I were about to relax with his morning oatmeal and bottle and possibly sleep some more (yah right). It was peaceful and there was a slight breeze outside so I decided to open a few windows....
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Lucifer Likes To Play Hardball...
We had coffee with Lucifer this morning, my husband and I... That was fun. She showed up late and asked us why we hadn't ordered her something yet - we had obviously forgotten that we were her eternal slaves. Well, we all sat down together and had a lovely (and I mean lovely in the most horrific...
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Saturday, September 11, 2004
I Had A Dream Last Night - No, A Nightmare...
I had a dream about Lucifer, yes, that's right. She has now invaded my most sacred thoughts, my deep subconcious! In my dream I was taking a nap and I woke up to a lot of noise out in the living room. I followed the voices and as I rounded the corner I saw my husband, Lucifer, and Lucifer's sister...
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Thursday, September 9, 2004
Could This Be The End Of Her?
Lucifer will visit us on Saturday to help us weed the lawn. At least, that's what she's expecting to do. What she doesn't know is that even the weeds have given up on life. The backyard is gone and it's not coming back, I've come to grips with that. But I'm not exactly sure what Lucifer will do...
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Tuesday, September 7, 2004
Why Doesn't She Just Hire A Fricken Gardener?!?!
The lawn is dead. The backyard looks like the mohave desert and a swampland combined - not a pretty sight. Well, the reason this is so significant? Lucifer is about to flip her lid. She paid all this money to landscape the backyard (that nobody asked her to landscape in the first place) and since we...
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Monday, September 6, 2004
The Bedspread Fairy Visited My House Today
At least that's what I've been telling myself. This morning the phone rang at about 10am and I let the machine get it because I could see from the caller ID that Lucifer was up and ready to b*tch. So the message she leaves is as follows: "Are you guys there and just not answering the phone? I'm on...
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Monday, August 30, 2004
The Dinner Guest From Hell (last time I use that pun, I swear!)
Yes, Lucifer made it to dinner... She was about an hour late so there was a brief moment in time when I thought I might be saved from her incessant torture, but alas, I was wrong. When she got to our house she made sure to compliment her son on his steak dinner, and also took the time to ask me why...
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Friday, August 27, 2004
The Shopping Trip From Hell (have I killed that pun yet?)
I have never seen one woman spend so much money in all my life... $4000 on curtains and blinds, $1000 dollars on a bedspread and all the decorative pillows (which I'll en up throwing under the bed anyways), $500 on an expensive mirror and matching sconces, $50 on two framed paintings, and, oh do you...
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Thursday, August 26, 2004
What Have I Gotten Myself Into Now?!?!
Lucifer called this morning to finally tell me HOW to change the phone bill into my and my husband's name. "you're sure you want to do this? I mean, you know it costs an extra 50 bucks to get it changed....and we could just keep it in my name for a while and change it over later...." and on and...
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Monday, August 23, 2004
Rearrange The Letters And What Do You Get?
This is just a short post about the epiphany I had earlier today: If you rearrange the letters in the words Mother In Law what do you get? WOMAN HITLER Now tell me that's not a bad sign!
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