Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Job Hunting Tips
Today's job market is more competitive than ever. Here are some tips to help give you the edge: Make sure your résumé is free of spelling and grammatical errors, grease stains, crumbs, blood splatters, and bits of hair and gristle. Be aggressive: Don't be afraid to call a potential employer every...
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Thursday, October 22, 2009
Cooking Tips
Becoming a great cook is easier than you might think. Here are some tips to help you become a whiz in the kitchen: To ensure that you always use the freshest ingredients, keep a live pig on hand. The general rule of thumb for vinegar is: The browner, the better. If all you have is buck-a-gallon...
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Etiquette Tips
In this modern world, good manners have become a lost art. Here are some tips to help you make the right impression in polite society: When attending superficial, high-society dinner parties, always stab people in the back with the third fork from the left. If you accidentally pass gas at a posh...
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Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Museum-Appreciation Tips
Museum-going can be an enjoyable and enriching experience. Here are some tips for getting the most out of your next visit: In large museums like the Louvre, it is virtually impossible to see everything in one day. This is why jogging is both acceptable and encouraged. If you don't experience a...
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Home Improvement Tips
Do-it-yourself home improvement can be money-saving and fun. Here are some tips to help you with that next project: As they say, the three rules of house-painting are preparation, preparation, and painting. One telltale sign that you need to go back to the old drawing board on a home plumbing...
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Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Golf Tips
Here are some tips to help you improve your game: When teeing off, don't forget to shout "Fore!" for some reason. To get the most out of a Sunday afternoon on the golf course, be trapped in a loveless marriage to a shrill, clothes-obsessed witch you can't stand to be around. If you encounter a...
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wine-Appreciation Tips
Wine appreciation is a true art form. Here are some tips to help you become an aficionado. Most wine experts frown upon serving a peignoir with white meat. This is primarily because a peignoir is a type of lingerie. In Europe, wines are named according to the region from which they come. Among the...
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Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Headache Relief Tips
Millions of Americans regularly suffer from headaches. Here are some tips to help prevent them and ease the pain: Though disputed by conventional Western medicine, the ancient Chinese art of kneecap-smashing may distract you from your headache. The surest method of headache prevention is to develop...
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Thursday, September 3, 2009
Body Building Tips
It's important to keep your lifting routine varied. If you've been saying "Ooooooof" every time you lift, try switching to "Ungggggh." To gain respect in the gym, bludgeon with a dumbbell the first guy who offers to trade sets with you. Weightlifting is not just a sport for men. It is also enjoyed...
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Friday, August 28, 2009
Video-Camera Tips
Video cameras are a fun and easy way to record those special moments in life. Here are some tips for getting the most out of them: Video-Camera Tips An important rule of thumb for the video-camera novice is that everybody in the world wants to see your toddler gorge on a slice of cake. Pointing the...
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