Friday, August 25, 2006
Queen is pleasantly surprised
PC was right, for a change! The guide in the green blanket was indeed hard to distinguish from the greenery but her nasal voice was like a car alarm which made it impossible to lose her, unfortunately. "Following this path, we come to the river Ninfa which as you can see is so clear and limpid that...
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Thursday, August 24, 2006
Queen visits Ninfa. Part 1
They had left fairly early for Ninfa and had of course taken the Press Secretary's Mercedes. It was much more practical than the royal mobile home which would have been painfully slow. It would take them about 3 hours. They had stopped for coffee but they were feeling a little peckish by the time...
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Queen looks forward to Ninfa
"What and where is Ninfa and can I come too?" asked PC plaintively. "Oh allright you can come - it will be your consolation prize!" the Press Secretary said enjoying himself. He then went on to explain that Ninfa had been quite an important town in the Middle Ages and was owned by the Caetani family...
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Queen demands a prize!
While they pondered over the Trivial Trivia Quiz, The Press Secretary picked out yet another silly season story to cheer them up. "What does 'derriere' mean?" asked PC "Bottom, basically" replied the Queen "So that's the bottom line, is it?" guffawed PC. "You have two minutes left" said the Press...
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Monday, August 21, 2006
Queen tries a Trivial Quiz.
The next morning, the Press Secretary had barely enough time to hide the Daily Mail with its indignant strident tones on a play at a fringe theatre in London. They were showing 'A right royal farce' and it dealt with the Royal Family after the death of the Queen! She must never read about that as...
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Sunday, August 20, 2006
Queen mourns dying monarchs.
While the Honorable Valeria Lust waited in the hallway, the Press Secretary dashed down to the Control Room and switched on the all clear button. Then he descended to the basement and told the royal couple that all was safe and that it was merely a transgender communist MP strolling in the gardens....
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Saturday, August 19, 2006
Queen has an important guest
"Don't be ridiculous-where do you think we are- Abu Ghraib prison!" said the intruder. "It is my duty to warn you that you are trespassing on the Queen's property" "What Queen - I am a sort of queen- my name is Valerie Lust- the first ever transgender member of Parliament!" The Press Secretary...
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Friday, August 18, 2006
Queen in hiding as the enemy is flushed out.
The Press Secretary first went to the Control Room-all rooms on red alert. He quickly changed into his ACU- the latest US model-a combination of green-woodland, grey- urban and sand brown- desert. He pulled on his jungle ripple boots. He was well trained and hardened. It had been a requisite for the...
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Thursday, August 17, 2006
Queen orders the intruder off her property
"Binoculars please" the Queen snapped. The Press Secretary knew that the Queen had never, ever recovered from finding a man in her bedroom about twenty years ago. That incident had left a deep scar on her psyche. She had tried Bach flower remedies and later psychotherapy but she was still haunted by...
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006
The Queen has a visitor!
They waited as she put down her empty coffee cup. The Press Secretary knew with a sinking heart that whatever idea the Queen had, it would mean more work for him! "We can have the stables converted into a super flat and let it out- now that should make us a nice little income on the side. You can...
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