The Joke Is On Big V

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Flights Are Now Departing...

A blonde gets on a plane bound for Chicago and leaves her seat in economy to sit in first class. When the flight attendant tells her she has to go back to economy because she didn’t pay for a first class ticket, the blonde says, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

That's How It Goes!

A man and his son go fishing one morning. It was quiet for a few hours until the son looked at his father and said, “Dad? How do fish breathe under water?” “I don’t know, son,” replied the father. “Dad? How does our boat float on water?” “I don’t know, son.” “Dad, why is the sky blue?” “I have no... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 28, 2015

He Reminds Me of Myself!

A young man grew up his entire life saying that he wanted to grow up and become a great writer. He was once asked about what kind of writer he wanted to become in his life. “Oh,” he said, “I want to become the kind of writer who is great. I want to write about stuff that everyone in the world will... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Don't I Know It !?!

A vicar is speaking to one of his parishioners one day. He says to the parishioner, “When you get to my age, you will spend a great deal of your time thinking about the hereafter,” to which the parishioner responds, “Why do you say that I will spend more of my time thinking about the hereafter?” The... Sign in to see full entry.

Excuse Me? Do I Know you?

When a man and a wife who have been married for many years head into the park near their home on a walk, they decide to sit down for a break. They notice a couple sitting a few benches over kissing very passionately. The wife watches for a moment before she turns to her husband and says, “Honey? Why... Sign in to see full entry.

That's Not True!

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where even I don’t know if I’m kidding or not. Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

It's A Double Feature Tonight!

A man is driving down the road with a bunch of penguins in the back seat of his car. The police stop him and tell the man that he cannot drive down the road with that many penguins in his car, it’s illegal. They inform him that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo right away. He is pulled over... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Such Choices!

A wife, being in a particularly romantic mood one day, sent her husband a series of texts. "If you are sleeping, send me you dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip! If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"... Sign in to see full entry.

Parlay Vous Francias ?

Little Billy's dad would always swear like a drunken sailor and then say, "Excuse my French." All was well until the day in class when Billy's teacher asked if anyone in the class could speak a foreign language and Billy raised his hand. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

What's on Channel 4?

The math teacher saw that Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2, 4, 28 and 44?" Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!" Sign in to see full entry.

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