The Joke Is On Big V

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Call Me, Hug Me, Just Not At Hooters!

Through Valentine’s Day, McDonalds will accept some payment in hugs. It's great news for anyone who hasn’t heard about the measles outbreak. By the way, you know who doesn’t take hugs as payment? Hooters. I found that out the hard way. Apple has accumulated so much money in profits it could afford... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Give Me A Second...

Italy's new president calls for a stronger fight against mafia corruption. That story again: The new president of Italy is missing. Due to a slowing of the Earth’s rotation, scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Here's the bad news— you just wasted it reading to this joke. An NFL... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

I Just Can't See This...

I met Ray Charles at an airport and he didn’t even acknowledge me when I smiled and nodded. Sign in to see full entry.

Humor From Late Night

A new survey finds 12% of Americans say it's OK to cheat a little on their taxes. The other 88% know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking if they cheat on taxes. Staples has agreed to buy Office Depot for $6 billion. Funny thing is they just popped in there to buy envelopes. And then just... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Shut Yer Phones Off!

After a very busy, tiring day at the office, the young woman settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed the station. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice.... “Hi sweetheart, it’s... Sign in to see full entry.

Yep!

I'm actually a pretty nice guy once you get away from me. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Attendance Mandatory!

The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1PM and 2016. Sign in to see full entry.

That's Criminal!

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. Sign in to see full entry.

Say It Quietly

Last night, I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I'm exhausted. Sign in to see full entry.

Astrologically Speaking

My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I'm pretty darn excited. Sign in to see full entry.

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