The Joke Is On Big V

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Answer That, Will You?

I recently had to have surgery and thought it might be a good idea if I played a little joke on the surgeon and left a note on my chest to remind him to be careful. When I woke up, I found my note had been scrubbed off and a new one had been placed there. It said: "Anyone seen my cell phone?" Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Hook A Girl Up Huh?

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 10, 2015

I'll Take The Rolex Please

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bedside. "Grandson I want you to listen to me. I want you to take my 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me." The young man shook his head. "But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Maybe It's Maybelline...

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Oxy Who? What?

Top 50 OXYMORON'S 50. Act naturally 49. Found missing 48. Resident alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine imitation 45. Airline Food 44. Good grief 43. Same difference 42. Almost exactly 41. Government organization 40. Sanitary landfill 39. Alone together 38. Legally drunk 37. Silent scream 36.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

What Channel Am I on?

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2, 4, 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!" I am trying to make friends outside of FaceBook but am trying to use the same principles.... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Hey Bill, I'm Fine... I Think

According to a new study, men who are funny are better in bed. There’s no punchline here, I just wanted to get the word out on that. A new survey finds people that hang out in bars tell an average of four white lies per day. And three of them are, “I’m fine to drive home.” Hillary Clinton is making... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Too Ambitious to be Curious... or something like that

We just added some french doors to our bedroom. They are beautiful but they have one draw back. I have to lick them to get them to open. The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly. Think it through! Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 22, 2015

And Now, This

New technology lets experts create a picture of what Jesus looked like as a kid. When he saw it, Larry King said, “You got the nose wrong.” A new survey finds men and women prefer sex at opposite times. Men prefer sex in the morning, while women prefer “not now.” Kim Jong Un actually climbed North... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

One Fried Please!

Blackberry is being criticized for misspelling the word “won” in an ad. Instead of w-o-n they put o-n-e. Blackberry apologized for the spelling mistake and said the person responsible had been fried. Instagram announced that users can now hashtag emojis. So it’s official, we all learned to read for... Sign in to see full entry.

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