The Joke Is On Big V

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Just Keep Digging

Hardware stores have stocked up on rope and duct tape for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie. Apparently, tying up your boyfriend is the only way to get him to go. Charles Manson broke off the engagement to his 27-year-old fiancée. Asked why, Manson said, “Her mother is a total psycho.” They haven't... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Spring? Summer? Nah... Maybe Fall

Honey Boo Boo’s parents were offered $1 million to make a sex tape. Fortunately, they decided to take an offer of $3 million to not make a sex tape. Scientists are nearing development of a pill to replace exercising. Americans heard this and said, “It better come in Cool Ranch flavor.” Putin was... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 16, 2015

I'll Take My Degree Like I take My Ladies... Never Too Seriously

Some people are criticizing the new movie “Exodus” for the scene where Moses leads the Israelites out of Egypt driving a Prius. Vladimir Putin says it's “too early” to decide on re-election in 2018 but he says it’s not too early to decide how much he wins by. ISIS is reportedly recruiting... Sign in to see full entry.

It's Ok to Fly, Just Don't Use Bitcoins!

A new study finds that watching Fox News makes you more conservative, watching MSNBC makes you more liberal and watching CNN makes you believe that no plane has ever safely reached its destination. A new electronic item is coming that's a pacifier with GPS to help you find your baby. The company... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Bill The Jets - It's Spring Time!

The N.Y. Jets are expected to name a new coach soon. The leading candidate is reportedly former Buffalo Bills coach Doug Marrone. A lot of people are upset about the news-- mostly Doug Marrone. The average college freshman reads at a seventh-grade level. Or if you’re an optimist, every seventh... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Avast Ye Scurvy Mateys!

I read this story about a dog in Seattle that knows how to ride the bus to take itself to the dog park without its owner. It sounds cute until you find out the dog’s only taking the bus because he has four DUIs. Word that Miley Cyrus has posed naked for a magazine. Now is it just me, or is U.S.News... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 13, 2015

You Got My Screwdriver?

“American Sniper” made $90 million last weekend. But director Michael Moore says snipers aren’t heroes. I don’t know about you Mr. Moore, but if you are that easy to spot, do you really want to make an enemy out of snipers? A new study says women with large butts produce smarter children. Which... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Torture Me... But Do It Cheaply!

Attorney General Nominee Loretta Lynch told a Senate committee waterboarding is “torture.” Then she said, “But it’s still not as bad as the new Johnny Depp movie.” A new helicopter service called Gotham Air now offers cheap trips from Manhattan to JFK or Newark airports for just $99. 'Cause if... Sign in to see full entry.

Call Me, Hug Me, Just Not At Hooters!

Through Valentine’s Day, McDonalds will accept some payment in hugs. It's great news for anyone who hasn’t heard about the measles outbreak. By the way, you know who doesn’t take hugs as payment? Hooters. I found that out the hard way. Apple has accumulated so much money in profits it could afford... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Give Me A Second...

Italy's new president calls for a stronger fight against mafia corruption. That story again: The new president of Italy is missing. Due to a slowing of the Earth’s rotation, scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Here's the bad news— you just wasted it reading to this joke. An NFL... Sign in to see full entry.

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