The Joke Is On Big V

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Hmmm.

Elenore Roosevelt once said, "I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered, but I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: No good in bed, but fine up against a wall.” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 24, 2017

I'm Good At It I tell Ya!

* I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Try, Try, Try Again!

“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” one buddy told another. “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” “But what if my wife finds out?” “Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and tell her about it!” So the guy went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Just Trying To Stay Ahead

A man who had just died was delivered to a local mortuary wearing a very expensive black tailored suit. The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that he certainly looked good in the black suit he was already wearing. The widow, however, says that she... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Just A Note Before I Go (Hat Tip to Crosby, Stills, & Nash)

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day about the fact that in many languages, such as English, a double negative forms a positive, while in other languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. “However” he pointed out “in no language can a double positive form... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Just Tryin' To Help Ma'am!

A guy was in a bar and was about as drunk as its possible to get. A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he fell down. He fell down eight more times on the way to... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Are You Green With Envy?

Last Thursday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m alright, but quite honestly, I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Woman, Spare That Two by Four!

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Thinking she had to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Don't Use The Valet Service!

A homeless guy came up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the homeless guy asks him, “Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven’t had a good meal in several days.” The owner says, “I have made a fortune in my... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Wait Your Turn!

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,... Sign in to see full entry.

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