The Joke Is On Big V

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Adam had been moping around all day in the Garden of Eden and God finally said, "Adam, what's up with all this moping?" Adam told God that he was lonely. God said He could fix that, no problem. In short order he could make a partner for Adam, and she would be called a "woman." God told Adam that the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

A husband and wife had been shopping at a large mall most of the day. The wife realized that she'd completely lost track of her husband. After searching all over, she finally called his cell and said, “I've looked everywhere. Where are you?” He replied, “Baby, remember that jewelers store where you... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

I was visiting my son this week and asked him where he kept his newspapers. He laughed at me and said, “Dad, it’s the 21st century. We stopped buying newspapers years ago. It saves trees. But you can borrow my iPad.” I took the iPad and walked away thinking 'Okay, fine, whatever. I bet that pesky... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Please Help!

My blood test came back as B+ That's good I guess. I'm curious if anyone have any tips on how I can get an A next time? Sign in to see full entry.

One of the entertainers on a cruise ship was a magician. Since the passengers were different each week, the magician always had a new audience. So he always did the same tricks. The captain's parrot, however, was stationed in the performance hall, and observed the magicians tricks week after week.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

We Was Robbed!

Wife nudges sleeping husband in the middle of the night, whispers, “Honey, wake up!” He mumbles, “What is it?” “I hear noises in the kitchen. I think it’s burglars. I think they’re eating the meatloaf I left out.” “Serves ‘em right,” he says, and he fell back to sleep. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Pay No Attention to That Penguin In The Tub

Therapist: Ever have a job? Me: I once worked at a zoo. Therapist: Great! and what did you take from that? Me: Definitely not a penguin. Therapist: What? Me: What? Sign in to see full entry.

It's a sad day in relationships when you can tell a girl likes you if she stares at your phone instead of her own. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer’s wife gave them a tour, a cheese making demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

This is bad... second grade bad. What do you call two docs standing together? A paradocs Sign in to see full entry.

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