The Joke Is On Big V

Sunday, June 18, 2017

A Cheap Laugh

* What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede. Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

YO HO!, Blow The Man Down!

Last summer on Lake Isabella, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 16, 2017

That Last Nickel

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

I've Seen This In Action

* The difference between genius and stupidity? There are limits to genius. Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Keep It Down!

IT IS BEST TO WHISPER!! A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl sitting alone in a busy room and asked, “Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied, in a very loud voice, “NO, I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”All the people in the library... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Carrots or Celery?

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Thanks A Bunch!

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber’s face. The robber promptly shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Exactly!

Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage. He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, “Congratulations Harry, I just wanted to tell you I’ve been married for twenty-two years, and I am sure that you will always... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Thank You! I'll Be Here All Week!

I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks. I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop ticking me off. Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation. The biggest lie I tell... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

"Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft"

I have often wondered why we are obsessed with traveling into space to find 'intelligent life forms' when we can't even any 'intelligent life forms' here on Earth. Talk about "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft!" BTW, I love Karen Carpenter's voice. Such a beautiful sound, such a waste of a... Sign in to see full entry.

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