The Joke Is On Big V

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Hmmm, this can't be good. I got a 'fortune cookie,' and when I opened it, it read: " So sorry, the fortune you are seeking is in a different cookie. " Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Don't run with a bagpipe. You could put an aye out, or worse, you could get kilt. Sign in to see full entry.

Hmmmmmmmm. I just got my 'Performance Evaluation,' and my boss obviously doesn't know the difference between a 'fiasco' and a 'debacle.' Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Yeah, It's Old

A woman's pet parrot hadn't talked for days, so she took it to a veterinarian to see what could be wrong. He laid the parrot on his exam table and checked the bird with his lab equipment. After a few minutes, he let her know her parrot was dying. "Oh no," she moaned, "Don't you have any other test... Sign in to see full entry.

An older lady passed away recently. She’d never been married, and she specifically asked that her casket service not have any male pallbearers. When someone asked the funeral director why, he told them, "Her contract with the funeral parlor stated: They never took me out when I was alive, so they... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 7, 2018

"Marketing Genius" A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS!” To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading “LOWEST PRICES!” He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 6, 2018

A little 3-year-old girl was playing with her miniature tea set. Her father was in the living room and her mother was out shopping. The little girl came out to the living room and offered her father a cup of tea, which was in fact just water. He thought this was really cute, so she did it several... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Do you ever get super annoyed with someone for interrupting the conversation you’re having...with yourself...in your head?...or..is that just me? Sign in to see full entry.

It's amazing how late you can show up to work if you're covered in blood. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 4, 2018

A major goal in my life is to do as little as possible and appear to be valuable. Goal reached! Sign in to see full entry.

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