The Joke Is On Big V

Saturday, August 26, 2017

No Respect At Alll

Rodney Dangerfield always told people, "I tell you I get no respect." Case in point-.. When I was in High School, I called my girlfriend one night and she said in her most sexy voice, ”Come on over to the house, there’s nobody home!” So I went over there to see her and rang the doorbell and she was... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

A True Visionary!

* I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in three years. Come on people! I don't have 2020 vision! Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 3, 2017

Things You Learn As You Get Older

I’ve learned something this weekend. If you eat a bit too much steak, a nice piece of chocolate cake and a glass of milk help to settle the stomach and ease the feeling of fullness. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Ain't THAT The Truth!

* People have the right to be stupid. Unfortunately there are some who abuse that privilege. Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

As Soft As A Babys Butt!

There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman’s face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin. However, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 30, 2017

This Is Why I Have Two Nikons & Three Canons

* You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Golfer? Goofer? Is There A Difference?

Marvin found the following ransom note slipped under his front door. “Bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of your country club tomorrow at 10:00 AM if you ever want to see your wife alive again.” The next day, it was well after 1:00 PM by the time he arrived at the designated meeting spot. A masked man... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Maybe She Should Have Reset Her Garmin

His wife’s graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 26, 2017

I Have Twelve Forty Five Myself!

A man was telling his neighbor in Port Charlotte, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty." Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Pass The Butter

A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers. “We’re sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife,”. “Tell me! Did you find her?!” Cedric Flynn asked. One officer said, “We have some... Sign in to see full entry.

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