The Joke Is On Big V

Monday, November 21, 2016

These Are Not The Droids You Are Looking For!

We went to a marriage specialist to help get things in order. She asked my wife, 'Why do you want to end this marriage?' My wife spoke right up and told her, "I hate his constant 'Star Wars' puns." The therapist looked at me for a response and I simply told her, "Divorce is strong in this one!"... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

I'm Not Quite Sure How To Take This

Yesterday, I met someone I hadn't seen in a long time and as we were parting, he says to me, "You hide it well, but you are a very strange person." Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

That Rings A Bell

* * Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no!! I forgot to feed the dogs". Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 18, 2016

I May Have Used This Before...

* I used many of these one liners in my comedy stints. I may have used this one before, but I always liked it. Properly delivered, it really gets laughs. * I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I just take something for it. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Thanks Dear! (A Tad 'Salty')

* My wife was always fond of tell others that my finest hour only lasted a minute and a half. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Tis The Season

* * With the Christmas and New Years office parties looming, I have been cautioned by a co-worker to remember that the worst part of these situations is looking for a new job the next day. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Shovels Are On Sale in Aisle Four!

* I've discovered that cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

I'm A Toys R Us Kid!

* My wife and I were having a loud "discussion" and she told me to "grow up" and walked away. I was speechless, but then again, it's hard to talk with 45 Gummi bears in your mouth. Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

The Things We Learn From Love

** Marriage teaches us many things. For example, I've learned that I don't need to use so many darn paper towels and that they are expensive. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Well That Stinks!

** I once made the mistake of complaining of something that had been cooked a few days before was still lingering in the kitchen. She politely explained to me that the best way to get rid of kitchen odors was to eat out! Sign in to see full entry.

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