The Joke Is On Big V

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Just A Note Before I Go (Hat Tip to Crosby, Stills, & Nash)

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day about the fact that in many languages, such as English, a double negative forms a positive, while in other languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. “However” he pointed out “in no language can a double positive form... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Just Tryin' To Help Ma'am!

A guy was in a bar and was about as drunk as its possible to get. A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he fell down. He fell down eight more times on the way to... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Are You Green With Envy?

Last Thursday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m alright, but quite honestly, I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Woman, Spare That Two by Four!

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Thinking she had to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Don't Use The Valet Service!

A homeless guy came up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the homeless guy asks him, “Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven’t had a good meal in several days.” The owner says, “I have made a fortune in my... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Wait Your Turn!

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 31, 2017

My Lips Are Sealed

* My wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

The Wheels Gotta Keep On Rolling

Most hospital now have regulations requiring a wheel chair for patients being discharged, however while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

I Forget

* Now that I’m older, my memory is a mighty fortress. Nothing seems to penetrates it. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

I See

Just had a new guy move in next door. He only stands about four foot, two incles tall. We can never each other see eye to eye. Sign in to see full entry.

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