The Joke Is On Big V

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Take A Bag!

* They tell me that most children will threaten to run away from home. I am well aware of that fact, and many times, it was the only thing that kept me going. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

I Had To DO It

Last night I finally removed all the unhealthy food from my house. It was delicious! Now it's time to stock back up! ‬ Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

O U QT, U R A BUT

* Life on the Internet tends to get me in trouble. My wife sent me a text telling me that 'we need to talk!' I sent her back a text that said, "SUBSCRIBE" BTW: the title spells out a sentence. Can you decode it? Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I Think He's Lion

* Our marriage therapist sensed my wife was upset. "What's wrong?" to which my wife told him, "He keeps substituting types of animals for words when we try to talk." He looked at me and I simply said, "I don't do it on porpoise." *Again, these are jokes and not real life situations. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 28, 2016

English Was Never My Specialty

* I remember back when I was young, my English teacher asked me to name two pronouns and I said, "Who, me?" Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Knock Knock Jokes? Spare Me!

This is for you writers! Knock knock! Who is there? To. To Who? No, the proper usage is 'To Whom!' Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Whole Or Condensed?

* Before I got married, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the refrigerator. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 25, 2016

It Most Certainly Was!

* The Past, the Present, and the Future walked into a bar. It was tense! Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Truth Hurts

I spent part of the morning looking at an old photo album and I've discovered that most of my photographs don't do me justice because they look just like me. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 21, 2016

These Are Not The Droids You Are Looking For!

We went to a marriage specialist to help get things in order. She asked my wife, 'Why do you want to end this marriage?' My wife spoke right up and told her, "I hate his constant 'Star Wars' puns." The therapist looked at me for a response and I simply told her, "Divorce is strong in this one!"... Sign in to see full entry.

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