The Joke Is On Big V

Sunday, March 19, 2017

I Think I Heard Mine Mumble Something Naughtier Than That!

* Growing old is hard work. The mind says "YES!" but the body says, "What in the world were you thinking?" Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Give Me French Toast Please!

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, “You know what? I think it’s about time we started learning to cuss.” The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues,”When we go in for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 17, 2017

I Do, But Maybe I Don't

A guy was sitting in his living room, watching a film with organ music playing on the TV and suddenly yells, “No! No! Don’t enter that church, you damn fool.” His wife had just walked in and heard him yelling and asks him, “What are you watching?” Husband replies, “Our wedding video.” Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Don't Hit Me! It's Just A Joke!

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a, very deep, husky voice, the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Up Please!

I had to have the garage door repaired a few months back. When he got here, the repairman told me that one of my problems was that I did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Got Some Marshmellows?

A man had to have a very serious operation. When he woke up, the curtains were drawn around him, leaving him confused. He ask the nurse if it was dark outside. She came to his side and told him, "No, the building across the street is on fire. Your wife didn’t want you to think you had died." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Did I Miss That on The Menu?

A minister was seated on a plane bound from Hong Kong to the US with a stopover in Honolulu. After the stopover, a crusty old Marine boarded and as fate would have it, he was seated next to the minister. After the plane was airborne, to continue on its journey, drink orders were taken. The Flight... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

A Texan Meets An Englishman

A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, “What size farm do you have?” The Englishman proudly announced, “Thirty-five acres!” “Thirty-five acres?” the Texan scoffed. “Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Ponder This!

I read somewhere that when someone is about to quote a bogus fact or statistic that they preface it by saying, “I read somewhere”. I despise people who mix up there, their and they’re. It’s worse than not knowing the difference between your left and write. Have you ever noticed that every picture of... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Been Down This Road Before!

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him. IRS AUDITOR: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”. Boat Owner: “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week... Sign in to see full entry.

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