The Joke Is On Big V

Sunday, October 22, 2017

I Just Found The Joke - I Didn't Write It!

An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. “Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.” “But grandpa, I really don’t like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?” “You lissina me,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Don't Lie, Just Choose Your Words Wisely

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. He was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Give Me Another Rimshot!

Another that can be taken two ways. Did you hear about the Limbo champion who walked into a bar? He was disqualified. Sign in to see full entry.

Recycling Is Good

I've used this one before, but I like it. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 16, 2017

We All Need To Learn This Trick

* I’ve learned that if you eat a bit too much steak, a nice piece of chocolate cake and a glass of milk help to settle the stomach and ease the feeling of fullness. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Talk About Your Double Entendres!

* It really takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Where's The Rimshot?

* My Brother David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

How To Make Money In Photography

A lawyer calls his largest client to his office for an important meeting. When he arrives, the lawyer says to the wealthy art collector client, "I have some good news and some bad news." The client grumbles, "I've had an awful day. Tell me the good news." "Your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures... Sign in to see full entry.

Stop Clowning Around!

* You will know when the "real clown uprising" is upon us when all the clowns start arriving in separate cars. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 6, 2017

Given Some Time, I Could Probably Write More

* FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE: 1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the idiot's name. 3. If you help someone in trouble - they'll remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Alcohol does not solve... Sign in to see full entry.

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