Funeral Fun

By archiew - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Help Pay for the Funeral

Funeral costs can range from expensive to really, really costly to outrageously cost-prohibitive. Well, how about these ideas to help pay for a funeral: Set up a flea market to sell the deceased's personal items, books, hobby items, clothing, etc. Sell T-Shirts that have the deceased's photo with a... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

To Ease the Tension at a Funeral . . .

Has anyone thought of placing "Whoppee Cusions" on or near the casket so that anyone kneeling or sitting or leaning near the casket would cause the embarrassing sound to come forth? Such things could evoke nervous laughter, thus releasing some of the pent-up tension I have been told some feel at a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Motoroized Caskets for Viewings

To make it easier for mourners to say their last farewells, and with the robotic technology we now have, a casket cart could be designed to move a casket about a viewing room, programmed to move slowly; to avoid walls, furniture and people, and to pause if a person seems to be speaking to the... Sign in to see full entry.

Funerals in unusual places --

Weddings are often staged in unusual places or with unusual events being highlighted. For instance, underwater weddings, or weddings as they wedding party parachutes from an airplane. Well, you get the picture. Those events are exciting and memorable. Why not do the same for funerals. The casket,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Just for the fun of it . . . . .

Someone should place a wireless receiver into a casket. That way, someone in another room could broadcast sound effects, not loud, just loud enough to hear if you are near the casket. Sounds that might work well in this situation are the "thump-thump of a heartbeat; fart sounds; humming of tunes,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

IRS Service

To ease the collection of taxes, IRS could attend funerals of the "Rich & Famous," ensuring they get their piece of flesh not long after the taxpayer's flesh begins to cool. The deceased's CPA could set up a table at the head of the casket to deal with the IRS agents. IRS policy would be that the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Group rates for funerals . . .

Would it be cheaper for a family to buy a freezer to keep deceased family members "on ice" until they have enough bodies for a "group rate" of, say, five family members? If they get a 20% discount for five burials at the same time, that would be like getting one of the five family members buried... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

For those with the means . . . .

Although with the cost of most funerals it would not add significantly to the cost, one could set up a memorial room with tables and serve a meal, or heavy snacks, to the guests. Meanwhile, an employee of the funeral home could wheel the casket from table to table, perhaps on a lower level than most... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

In response to a question from Spitfire70

in response to my blog on movies to be shown at one's funeral/memorial, here are some of the movies I'd like to have shown in memorium to my life: Pippin Patton 5000 Fingers of Dr. T 3:10 to Yuma Shane Dreamcatcher Slaughterhouse Five Zulu Run Lola Run Salton Sea Tombstone (No pun intended! Real a... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Costume Party Memorial

Here's another idea for a memorial party: Make it into a Memorial Costume Party with all the guests dressing as and looking as much like the deceased as posible. Each person would look as the deceased looked when s/he was their age, including the children at the service, who would dress as the... Sign in to see full entry.

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