Wednesday, August 25, 2004
10 Things I Wished I Had Never Asked My Son & His Responses
Are those clothes clean? Mostly Where is your comb? I had a comb? Where did you get that wound? Jesse and I were fighting on his trampoline and.... Who was that man I saw you walking home with? I don't know his name. I met him walking home. It is pouring outside, and your bus isn't due for another...
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
10 Things You Don't Want to do on a First Date
Ask your date to pay. Show up without a back up plan and cab money. Talk about your ex in more than passing. Talk about getting married or wanting to get pregnant. Bring your mother, brother, sister, or poodle. Complain about your date's attire, breath, hair, or car. Ask to see your date's financial...
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Monday, August 23, 2004
10 Things I've Learned from Murder She Wrote
Being a murder mystery author guarantees you access to police information worldwide. Authors know more rich people than middle class or poor people. Research for a book is a far better education than the police academy provides. If you are a doddering, nosey, old biddy, you can get away with most...
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Sunday, August 22, 2004
10 Things I Did With My Day
Swept the deck and cleaned the back windows. Took the kids to the park. Calculated and paid royalties. Totally caught up Whim's Place email for the first time in weeks. Started reading a new book. Made a breakfast of biscuits, eggs, and sausage. Took a nap. Listened to "The Other" while I worked....
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
10 Things I Found Under the Couch Cushions Today
$1.53 Two ziploc bags Plasticware to the twins' dinnerware A whole peanut butter and cracker sandwich Rocks Candy wrappers Rubberband Crayon Pet fur Dog collar What is under your cushions?
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Friday, August 20, 2004
10 Reasons to Live Even When You Don't Want To
Piss off your enemies. Finish the last of the Red Velvet Cake before your spouse does. To keep the relatives from gathering in one place and starting yet another feud. You can't afford to die. The casket alone costs more than next month's rent. To see how quickly "Joey" gets cancelled by NBC in the...
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Thursday, August 19, 2004
10 Things to do with a Dead Cat
Restring your guitar. Leave it under your neighbor's car to make him think he did it. Leave it under your teenager's bed to see how long it takes him to find it. Bury it. Donate it to science. Take it to the taxidermist and have it stuffed. Feed it to the neighbor's dogs. Flush it down the toilet....
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Wednesday, August 18, 2004
10 Things I Have Learned from People
Working hard counts less than good social skills. Friendships/alliances are disposable. Lying is ok as long as it serves to boost someone's self-esteem. People don't really want to know what you think. More people can't be trusted than can. Money is not the root of all evil. People are. The...
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004
10 Things I Can't Live Without, or at least wouldn't want to live without
My family. My pets. A computer with Internet access. Chocolate. Access to unlimited reading materials. Indoor toilets. Disposable diapers. My sight. Memories. Goals.
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Monday, August 16, 2004
10 Things I Could Live Without
Gray Hair Depression Bills Deadlines Responsibilities Peas--all kinds Telephones Allergies Misquitoes Gossip
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