Saturday, September 18, 2004
10 Things to Do with Your Husband's Underwear
'Accidentally' wash them with your red bra as an act of revenge. Can you say heavy on the starch? Add an extra wide band at the top to keep his butt crack from peeking out in public. Hide them to see if he notices. Fold them neatly, then sort them by age before putting them away to prove how insane...
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Friday, September 17, 2004
10 Bloggers & What I Picture Them Writing (based on my warped brain only)
Dedicated to Laughlines, who appreciates I have a sense of humor, just isn't sure when I am using it.:) SassyAss - Porn Screenplays Hollee - Sitcoms Scoop - Breaking news Ariala - Brochures, lots and lots of brochures Marianotonia - Term papers and erotica UnToldOne - UFO stories Talion - page 1 of...
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Thursday, September 16, 2004
10 Things I Don't Know How To Do
Sit without anything to do. Be happy in a mundane job. Read French. Make everyone happy at the same time. How tough it is to stop smoking or drinking, since I don't do either. Well, I do drink. Last time was December, 2003. Do you think I should quit? Pee standing up without it running down my legs....
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004
10 Excuses for All Ocassions
I forgot. That is not what we agreed to do. I told you about it last week. Don't you remember? I fell asleep. My computer: locked up, caught a virus, crashed, lost it. Didn't you receive my email? My baby's momma/daddy didn't pick him up. My attorney advised me against it. You said please, so I took...
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
10 Sayings Modernized.
Let sleeping dogs lie. Let sleeping babies be. A penny saved is a penny earned. A penny saved may cost you $5 in bank fees. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you don't succeed, blame it on The Man for keeping you down. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A candy bar...
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Friday, September 10, 2004
10 Things to Do to Give Your Life Meaning
Donate your organs. Become a Big Brother/Sister. Volunteer at a nursing home or hospital. Look at your children. Have children! Adopt a pet, who will depend on you for his care. Man a hotline for runaway teens, suicide prevention, or mad mom's on the rampage. Consider yourself a link in the chain to...
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Thursday, September 9, 2004
10 Things I'd Do If I Didn't Have Children
Never wear clothes in the house again. Revert the downstairs bedroom back into part of the family room. Take trips abroad. Without kids, I could afford it. Be less patience with small children. Expect more for Christmas. Make love with my husband more often. Take less Tylenol. Give up my Costco...
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Wednesday, September 8, 2004
10 Things to do with Too Much Money
Burn it. Give it to charity. Give it to me. Buy Blogit and make yourself supreme ruler, capable in random evictions, unexplainable payment distributions, and a huge benefits package. Hire someone to write for you. Leave it to your cat. Send your children to military school in Syberia. Buy a...
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Tuesday, September 7, 2004
10 Things I DON'T Worry About
Going hungry. I know I can support me and my kids. Becoming my mother. Maybe my grandmother, but never my mother. Death. Ever getting too much sleep. Missing the latest episode of... pretty much anything on TV. Which maxi-pad my best friend uses. How many licks it takes to get to the center of a...
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Monday, September 6, 2004
10 Times When Less is Better
When charged with a crime, the less said, the better. When doing household chores, the less to be done, the better. When meeting with your accountant, the less extraneous information, the better. (In other words, your accountant really doesn't want to know anything more than the case of KY gel is a...
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