Thursday, July 29, 2004
Beautiful?
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 7:20 PM Comments (5) (permalink)
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
phone lines
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 4:33 PM Comments (2) (permalink)
Monday, July 26, 2004
Devil In The Church
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 4:37 PM Comments (14) (permalink)
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Hilarious Signs
Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On the trucks of a plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 8:02 PM Comments (13) (permalink)
Friday, July 23, 2004
Baby
John went to his friend's house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, "You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby." John said that he would prefer the floor. The next... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 8:56 PM Comments (5) (permalink)
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Ever wondered how shit happens?
In the beginning was the Plan And then came the Assumptions And the assumptions were without form And the plan was completely without substance And the darkness was upon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves, saying "It is a crock of shit and it stinketh" And the workers went unto... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 5:17 PM Comments (5) (permalink)
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE
It has been brought to my attention that some individuals have been using FOUL language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will not be tolerated! However, we do realize the importance of staff being able to... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 9:12 PM Comments (4) (permalink)
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Preparation for skiing
This is to remind skiers how to prepare for the ski season and to remind non-skiers why they do not ski. 10. Visit your local butcher and pay $50 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up. 9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 7:02 PM Comments (4) (permalink)
Monday, July 19, 2004
Mother-in-law
Mother-in-law ============= A bloke, his wife and his mother-in-law went on a two-week holiday. After a couple of days the mother-in-law went missing. They reported it to the police, and after another couple of days the local sergeant called the bloke. "I've got bad news for you, mate," said the... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 3:45 PM Comments (10) (permalink)
Sunday, July 18, 2004
First Wedding
First Wedding ============= Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought... Sign in to see full entry.
posted by VIVA_LA_KATZE at 6:07 PM Comments (7) (permalink)
|
December 2008
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Jul | Newest | Jan |
About this Blog
Humour is the good for the soul.
I MUST WARN YOU
This is crazy Aussie humour
Links
Main
|
