Saturday, January 11, 2014

Harold Dons The Hair Curlers

What is wrong with you? You’re the one who’s having a fit. Well who wouldn’t if their husband decides to put his hair up in curlers. They were doing it on that movie trailer. I thought I’d try it out. Well, you’re not in the movies. Put my curlers back right now before I throw this book at you. Now,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Darn Art Class!

What the FUCK! Jarod, what did you do to my car?! I swear that kid is so irresponsible. Yeah, Mom? Jarod, why did you paint spots on my car? It looks like a Jersey heifer for Pete’s sake! You like cows. YES!!! But I don’t want to drive one. Mr. Henshaw gave me an A for art class. Really? Yes,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Keep Your Mits Outta My Cupboards!

FADE IN Okay, who got into the cupboards? Isn't that what cupboards are for? Not when I have them clearly marked, Peggy's Food. Where am I supposed to put my food? In your bedroom. Then I'll have to haul it out all the time. You hauled MY food out of MY cupboards didn't you? Sorry, won't happen... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Two Friends On The Phone: One In The Big Apple One In Iowa

FADE IN Hey Gary, do you know why Jesus died on a cross? I don’t know, to die for our sins? No, so Catholics wouldn’t have to make the sign of the noose. Really funny. Well, it’s true. The sign of the cross is a degraded symbol of torture just as any hanging would be. You and your jokes Terri, why... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

I Think All This Dialogue Business Are Plays Not Screenplays

TO BE IN THERAPY OR NOT BE IN THERAPY ACT ONE Okay Stephanie, that does it I’m through with therapy. Are you sure? What about all the years of your life we’ve not relived. Are you kidding me? I could go on and on and we’d never reach the end. I want some closure. Yes I know, but it is hard since we... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Bob The Bowler Shines His Shoes

FADE IN WHAT did she say? She said you’re a monkey’s uncle. Well, what’s that supposed to mean? Beats me, but she said it. She can’t get by with that. If anyone’s a monkey’s uncle it’s her! Ah, usually females are not thought of as uncles. Well, you know what I mean. It’s just a matter of speaking.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Rita's No Baptist

FADE IN This is really one fine day to call me up and tell me you prefer women. just now when we're planning our wedding?! unbelievable!! You knew of my past history with women. i told you i was bi-sexual. But WE were planning to take sacred vows of holy matrimony between man and wife. Sharon and i... Sign in to see full entry.

Kelsea's Good For A Few Barks

FADE IN What do you mean you're not going to the play? Just what i said, i'm not going. You HAVE to go. our darling daughter has the best part. A barking dog is not the best part. Sure it is. She's a poodle isn't she? She's YOUR poodle, not mine. Oh, I knew I should never have married you. Kelsea is... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Fat Club Member Getting The Business From Her Beloved Husband

FADE IN Well excuse me, sherlock holmes do you really think you've solved the case? Yes i have. i know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you stole my cheesecake. Oh yeah, and it sure was good. Why would i take your stupid cheesecake? To take it to your fat club meeting that's why. We don't eat at... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Mary O'Hara Wants To Change Occupations -- Goodbye Motherhood!

FADE IN Oh, this is just ridiculous. I am so disgusted I could quit. But honey, we have five children. You CAN'T quit! I'm tired of being a soccer Mom. Why don't you take the kids to ball games? Honey, I have a reputable accounting firm. You know I'm too busy. Well, I heard on Dr. Phil today that... Sign in to see full entry.

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