Saturday, April 9, 2005
IRS (Easy Form)
This if the simplest form yet. And never any tax problems Horrible Thought for the day As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
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Tuesday, April 5, 2005
Mammies Gram
For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr Pruitt, Said I...
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Saturday, April 2, 2005
Know Thyself
Know thyself This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age can't do it! 1. This is this cat 2. This is is cat 3. This is how cat 4. This is to cat 5. This...
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Saturday, February 26, 2005
Arthritis??
What causes people to have arthritis? A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began...
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Tuesday, February 22, 2005
College Short Story Essay Contest
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: The short story must contain the following three things (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3) Mystery. There was only one A+ paper in the entire class................ Good God, I'm pregnant. I...
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Monday, February 21, 2005
Singing in Church
SINGING IN CHURCH A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out...
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Sunday, February 20, 2005
Rubber
HOW LATEX GLOVES ARE MADE A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. "Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked. "No, I don't" she replied. "Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in...
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
For the Discriminating Wineo
Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined...
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Thursday, February 10, 2005
The FROG
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her. He whispered, "IM LONELY...
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Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Southerners
Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway." Or,...
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