Monday, November 15, 2004
Second Opinion
A man went to a doctor who told him that he had a week to live. "What!" the man said. "I want a second opinion!" "Okay," the doctor said. "I think you're ugly too."
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Friday, September 24, 2004
A man sat in a restaurant eating his meal when he started
choking for a long time. The alarmed waitress asked the poor man if he was all right and he said yes but he was surprised. When the waitress asked why, he said "I thought I was sitting in the no choking section."
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Friday, July 30, 2004
A seventy-five year old woman saw God in a dream
and she asked him how much time she had left to live. God replied that she had 35 years left to live. So for the next year she had a ton of cosmetic surgery done. She had a face lift, a tummy tuck, her nose reshaped, liposuction, and completely did herself over. She figured if she was going to live...
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Wednesday, May 12, 2004
The newly bereaved widower
An Irish priest was walking down a country road and saw a young man crying. So the priest asked, "What's wrong my son? Why are you crying?" So the young man replied, "I can't help it father, my wife just died." "Oh that's terrible. But don't worry, you'll meet another girl and in six months you'll...
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Sunday, April 18, 2004
Second opinion
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Joke telling
A new convict was eating in the cafeteria when somebody shouted out a number and everybody laughed, then somebody else shouted out another number and again the convicts laughed, then that happened again and again so he asked his cell mate what was going on. The cell mate explained. "We don't have...
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Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Restaurant reservations
A guy and his wife went to a posh restaurant where the maitre d' greeted them at the door with the question. "You have reservations of course misieu." "Oh absolutely." the man said. "My wife and I both have reservations about this place, but we decided to come anyway."
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Monday, April 12, 2004
The female tow truck operator.
A pretty blonde tow truck driver told an able bodied man whose car was parked in a handicapped space she would give him a blow job if he would walk to the end of the street close his eyes, count to six hundred and then come back. When he came back, he found his car towed away to the public towing...
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Saturday, April 10, 2004
The Mailman
A guy returned home from work unexpectedly to find the mailman humping his wife. He asked his wife how she could be having sex with their mailman. She explained, "Well he said he had a special delivery for me."
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Friday, April 9, 2004
The Explorers' Club
A guy moved to Alaska and hoped to join the Explorers' Club there. So the members told him he would have to pass an initiation. They said first he would have to drink a barrel of whiskey. Second, he would have to make love to an Eskimo girl in the snow for five hours. Third, he would have to go...
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